20120203_Dayani_ESSAY49988

20120203_Dayani_ESSAY49988 - Visiting Cuba By Dayani...

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Visiting Cuba By: Dayani Marrero DeVry University
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Smarthinking's E-structor Response Form (Your marked-up essay is below this form.)   HOW THIS WORKS: Your e-structor has written overview comments about your essay in the form below. Your  e-structor has also embedded comments [in bold and in brackets] throughout your essay. Thank you for  choosing Smarthinking's OWL; best wishes with revising your paper! *Strengths of the essay: Hi, Dayani! My name is Randwin M. and I’ll be helping you with your draft today. By the way, one thing I particularly  like about your work is your description of the endless horizon, your godparents, and the apartment. The descriptions  are quite vivid. Your readers can easily imagine what you’re describing. Good job! *Dayani 4553328 has requested that you respond to the Main Idea/Thesis: Let’s work on your thesis statement, Dayani, so that the purpose of your paper becomes clear to readers. In academic  writing, a narrative is not simply used to recount events; it is used to support a thesis. For instance, a narrative about  the first day of class could be about overcoming the feeling being out of place. Typically, the thesis of a narrative is the  realization or lesson learned from the experience. For example:  On my first day as an adult learner, I learned that I am not out of place because, like me, my classmates are  in school to give their family a better life. Let’s go back to your narrative. What did you realize from your visit to Cuba? Your thesis statement will have to tell  your readers what you realized or learned. A narrative typically has an implied thesis. This means that you will not find a sentence that explicitly states the point  being made. However, explicitly stating a thesis wouldn’t be bad as well. Doing so prevents being misunderstood. I’m  sure this will make it easier for readers to tell the purpose of your paper. To learn more, please visit:  Thesis  Development (Chapter 3, Lesson 6) http://www.smarthinking.com/static/Document_Library/docs/writeman/3_06.cfm   *Dayani 4553328 has requested that you respond to the Introduction/Conclusion: Let’s improve your introduction, Dayani. The introduction is supposed to tell readers what the topic is, state or imply 
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