Dat 5 - legs and they send a nurse to interview me...

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I shuffle up the hall to my pre-stained chair. 'Mister Little,' says Gurie, 'I'm going to start over - that means loosen up some facts, young man. Sheriff Porkorney has firm notions about Tuesday, you should be thankful you only have to talk to me.' She goes to touch her snatch, but diverts to her gun at the last second. 'Ma'am, I was behind the gym, I didn't even see it happen.' 'You said you were in math.' 'I said it was our math period.' She looks at me sideways. 'You take math behind the gym?' 'No.' 'So why weren't you in class?' 'I ran an errand for Mr Nuckles, and got kind of - held up.' 'Mr Nuckles?' 'Our physics teacher.' 'He teaches math?' 'No.' 'G-hrrr. This area's looking real gray, Mister Little. Damn gray.' You don't know how bad I want to be Jean-Claude Van Damme. Ram her fucken gun up her ass, and run away with a panty model. But just look at me: clump of lawless brown hair, the eyelashes of a camel. Big ole puppy-dog features like God made me through a fucken magnifying glass. You know right away my movie's the one where I puke on my
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Unformatted text preview: legs, and they send a nurse to interview me instead. 'Ma'am, I have witnesses.' 'Is that right.' 'Mr Nuckles saw me.' 'And who else?' She prods the dry bones in her box. 'A bunch of people.' 'Is that right. And where are those people now?' I try to think where those people are. But the memory doesn't come to my brain, it comes to my eye as a tear that shoots from my lash like a soggy bullet. I sit stunned. 'Exactly,' says Gurie. 'Not real gregarious, are they? So Vernon - let me ask you two simple questions. One: are you involved with drugs?' 'Uh - no.' She chases the pupils of my eyes across the wall, then herds them back to hers. 'Two: do you possess a firearm?' 'No.' Her lips tighten. She pulls her phone from a holster on her belt, and suspends one finger over a key, eyeing me all the while. Then she jabs the key. The theme from Mission: Impossible chirps on a phone up the hall. 'Sheriff?' she says. 'You might want to attend the interview room.'...
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  • Spring '12
  • Jean-Claude Van Damme, Sheriff Porkorney, Mr Nuckles, Big ole puppy-dog, lawless brown hair, fucken magnifying glass

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