RevisingProse(Lanham)

RevisingProse(Lanham) - Chem 391 Revising Prose: The Lanham...

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1 Chem 391 Tech Writing Using Chem Lit Dr. Zimmerman Chem 391 Revising Prose: The Lanham Paramedic Method The Official Style ± Passive voice The NMR spectrum was determined by Jones and coworkers. (passive) Jones and coworkers ref determined the NMR spectrum. (active) ± Remove subject The NMR spectrum was determined. (passive, no subject) ± Noun style (verb noun form + prepositional phrases + weak verb) A determination of the NMR spectrum was carried out . (noun style) ± Problem: wordy, euphemistic, hides who does what.
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2 The Lanham Paramedic Method (PM) ± Circle the prepositions. Circle the “is” (“to be”) forms (is, are, were, was, will be). ± Find the agent of action. Ask “Who is kicking whom?” ± Put the “kicking” action in a simple (not compound) active verb. ± Start fast—no mindless introductions. ± Write out each sentence on a blank sheet of paper and mark off its basic rhythmic units with a “/”. ± Mark off sentence lengths in the passage with a “/”. ± Read aloud with feeling. Example An analysis of the circular dichroism spectrum of oxygenated hemoglobin in erythrocytes of mice was carried out. Agent of action? “We”
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3 Example Revised We analyzed the circular dichroism spectrum of oxygenated hemoglobin in mouse erythrocytes. Lard Factor (LF)
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RevisingProse(Lanham) - Chem 391 Revising Prose: The Lanham...

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