Unformatted text preview: ASSERTIVENESS
Lecture 11 Graham J McDougall Veronica Garcia Walker MSN, RN, CNABC
Jan Fox RNC, MSN
Stella Logan MSN, RN, PMHCNSBC Close Ended vs. Open Ended?
Close Ended vs. Open Ended? How are you? Open
Open Close Ended vs. Open Ended?
Close Ended vs. Open Ended? What did the doctor say about your lowerback pain? Open
Open Close Ended vs. Open Ended?
Close Ended vs. Open Ended? In the past when your leg ached, what kinds of things helped it? Open
Open Close Ended vs. Open Ended?
Close Ended vs. Open Ended? Your tray will be here soon. Are you hungry? Closed
Closed Close Ended vs. Open Ended?
Close Ended vs. Open Ended? When the doctor walked away, did you feel rejected? Closed
Closed Do you ever wish you had courage to speak up and don’t? Do you remain silent, but seething? Do you say yes when you mean no? Do you speak up, but sound defensive? ASSERTIVENESS IS…
ASSERTIVENESS IS… ASKING FOR WHAT ONE WANTS OR ACTING TO GET IT IN A WAY THAT RESPECTS OTHER PEOPLE. Basic Human Rights
Basic Human Rights Assertiveness is based on the belief that certain human rights exist for all people. Look at rights on page 40 and tell me what you think. Remembering that you have rights is not enough. You must assert them. Assertiveness
Assertiveness “Assertiveness is a set of behaviors and a communication style that is open, honest, direct, and confident. Assertiveness enables the expression of emotions, including anger, in a manner that assumes responsibility. It allows placement of boundaries and prevents acceptance of inappropriate aggression from others” (Boyd) Assertive Behavior
Assertive Behavior When a person stands up for his/her rights in such a way that the rights of others have not been violated.
It involves the honest, direct, and appropriate expression of one’s feelings, beliefs, and opinions. It communicates respect for the other person, though not necessarily for his/her behavior. It demonstrates important personal values. Assertive Behavior
Assertive Behavior Acting assertively reinforces good feelings about yourself, improves selfconfidence and leads to freer, more honest relationships with others. Assertiveness Example
Assertiveness Example Charge Nurse: Please work another shift. We NEED you. Assertive Answer: I’ll be happy to help you out another time, but I have plane tickets to Las Vegas. Maybe you could call Nurse Finders. NonAssertive Behavior
NonAssertive Behavior Nonassertiveness is a subordination of one’s own feelings or needs in order to attempt to meet the needs of others.
Nonassertiveness stems from a lack of self
esteem, selfconfidence, skills, and/or a need to avoid conflict.
These people may be seen as “people pleasers”. NonAssertive
NonAssertive Behaviors can range from silence (no expression) to apologetic. When you fail to express yourself you may be trying to avoid the disapproval of others. Why Honesty is Important
Why Honesty is Important Effective Communication Successful Problem Solving Good Relationships …Are difficult to achieve without being able to express yourself honestly. NonAssertive Behavior
NonAssertive Behavior Passive Subordinates own feelings
Puts others needs first
May have episodic “anger explosions” Passive Aggressive Refuses to express needs
Uses sabotage to express anger, unhappiness, disappointment NonAssertive Behavior: Example
NonAssertive Behavior: Example Charge Nurse: Please work an extra shift. NonAssertive Answer: “OK, I know you really need me. I hope I can get my money back from my once in a lifetime flight.” PassiveAggressive Behavior: PassiveAggressive Behavior: Example Charge nurse: We NEED you to work. Passive Aggressive Answer: OK (Then calls in sick) Aggressive Behavior
The aggressive person
expresses feelings and
needs at the expense
of others, and may
unconsciously try to
humiliate or dominate
them. Aggressive Behavior: Example
Aggressive Behavior: Example Charge nurse: We NEED you to work. Aggressive Answer: If you were efficient this would not happen. Components of Assertive Components of Assertive Communication Eye contact: about 50% of the time
Facial expression: congruent
Voice tone, inflection & volume
Gestures Components of Assertive Components of Assertive Communication Eye contact: about 50% of the time: Don’t stare or glare. Use soft eye contact. (Direct, but not intrusive) Increases seriousness of your message. Components of Assertive Components of Assertive Communication Facial expression: congruent Components of Assertive Components of Assertive Communication Voice tone, inflection & volume Components of Assertive Components of Assertive Communication Body posture: erect, but not confrontational. Components of Assertive Components of Assertive Communication Distance/Territoriality/Need for privacy: Components of Assertive Components of Assertive Communication Gestures Assertive/Non
assertive/Aggressive?? Mary is trying to study, but her roommate is playing really loud music. Mary chooses to study silently. She says nothing to her roommate, but her body language indicates that she is annoyed. This is a ____________response. Nonassertive
Nonassertive Mary next asks her roommate to turn down the music. Mary tells her roommate playing the music after 2 is fine as she will be gone and taking her exam at that time. This is a __________response. Assertive
Assertive Mary gets upset at the music and gets up and throws the CD player across the room, silencing the problem. This is a __________response. Aggressive
Aggressive The same roommate asks to borrow Mary’s notes for the exam. Mary has them, but says,
“I can’t seem to find them.” This is a _____________response. Passive/Aggressive
Passive/Aggressive Empathic Assertions;
Empathic Assertions; These are powerful assertive statements.
Recognize the rights and feelings of the other person while you make statements about your own rights and feelings.
Useful as a first step in confronting someone. Empathic Assertions
Empathic Assertions “I appreciate your interest; I’ve decided to say no at this time.” “I realize that this puts you in a bind, but I have chosen to turn down your offer.” “I” + specific feeling or preference Use the word “I” which is less threatening when expressing strong feelings. I feel______ I prefer______ I choose _________ Formula #2 to Assertive Statements:
Formula #2 to Assertive Statements: First describe the other person’s behavior. Describe the effects the behavior is having. Humor
Humor The mental experience of discovering and appreciating the unexpected. “All humor incorporates a sudden
unexpected direction of thought.”
(Toastmasters, March 1993) Variables that Contribute to Variables that Contribute to Successful Use of Humor Knowledge of the client’s response pattern (not everyone has a sense of humor)
An overly intense situation—a shared joke can become a bond.
Timing—Humor is less effective when the client is tired or vulnerable. (The mood of the patient)
The client’s developmental level—Children are more concrete. Successful use of humor is…
Successful use of humor is… Based on the interactive relationship between caregiver and patient.
****Humor that ridicules or belittles someone is not funny!! “I find it helpful to not take myself too seriously!!” (Quote from a dear friend) ...
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- Fall '08
- assertive behavior, Assertive, NonAssertive Behavior