CHAPTER 17 - The relationship is secure and mature enough...

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CHAPTER 17: EXPRESSING AFFECTION Ways of sharing affection; the use of each must be considered within contexts of gender, culture, and developmental stage Direct relational statements Positive verbal statements Self-disclosure Listening Staying in touch Nonverbal expressiveness Touch Sexuality Agression Gifts Money Food Favors Service Time together Access rights Direct Relational Statements “I love you”… “I miss you” If too much frequency, potency can be lost Verbal affection can be hard for some people to express Greeting cards can help express emotion
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Essential to all healthy relationships Self-Disclosure Peeling away layers of an onion – deeper truths come out near center Inviting someone in to your intimate layers shows you care about them Voluntarily sharing private/personal info Showing you have trust in that person Involves some degree of risk The other person learns info about you, which could be hurtful if misused The decision to self-disclose is tied to personal history with another
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Unformatted text preview: The relationship is secure and mature enough People vary in their interpretation of self-disclosure One persons biggest secret may not mean anything to another Talking about sexual behavior may be hard for one person, but normal for another Talking about the bad stuff Pain, negativity, scary feelings Risk is the greatest here vulnerable to take risks Not intended to be unidirectional Self-disclosure develops through reciprocity Gifts A gift is a symbol of love something you can hold in your hand and say, look, he was thinking of me Love letters, cards, kiss can substitute for gifts What counts is the caring thought underlying the presentation of the gift The importance of shared of recognized as different attitudes towards gift giving cannot be overestimated Holidays can be ruined if a person feels ignored or discounted by lack of gifts or type of gift received...
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CHAPTER 17 - The relationship is secure and mature enough...

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