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Unformatted text preview: eaning, if the advice is given in an appropriate manner with tenderness from the beginning, the end result is often the same. But if it is given harshly and callously, the end result will be similar. When we are advising people, we are actually dealing with their hearts and not their bodies. This is why, children often take their mother's advice but not the father's, or vice versa and students tend to accept one teacher's advice but not another's. The very first skill one should use while giving advice is not to do it excessively and pick on every fault, big or small, so that others do not feel that you are constantly watching their every move. Otherwise, they would see you as very cumbersome. The leader of a people is not the one who is foolish The leader of a people is the one who pretends to be foolish If you can present your advice as a suggestion instead, then
377 Make your tongue sweet 55 you should do so. For example: your wife brings you dinner and you know that she has tired herself preparing this, and it happens to be very salty. Do not say, "Oh no! What kind of meal is this? I seek refuge in Allah! It seems you emptied out the whole packet of salt in this!" Rather, you should say, "If you were to have decreased the amount of salt, it would have tasted even better." Similarly, if you notice your son wearing dirty clothes, then advise him as if you are making a suggestion, because people do not like to be ordered around. Say to him, "How nice would it be if you were to wear better clothes?" If a student comes late to school, say to him,"How nice would it be for you not to be late again?" This approach is far superior. Use this approach all the time, "How about if you do this? I suggest you do that..." This approach is much better than for you to say, "You have no manners! How many times have I told you but you never understand? How much longer do you want me to keep telling you?" Allow him to retain his honour...
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- Spring '12