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Unformatted text preview: sponsive, perhaps take the baby in his arms, kiss him and praise his looks and health. However, our friend was quite foolish. When you deal with people, try to see the importance of matters as they see it, and not how you see it. So the word, `Excellent' for your son is more precious than a PhD. Your friend's newborn is more precious to him than the entire world. Each time he sees his baby, he feels like opening up his chest so that his son may reside therein. Doesn't your love for your friend dictate that you should share in his moments of happiness, if only a little? Sometimes, people feel passionate over issues. You should show that you also share their passion over those issues. Do not be cold-hearted and lacking in emotion. Give compliments, respond to their feelings and demonstrate your happiness, sadness or amazement. Do not act like a corpse! This is why those who are not responsive to others' feelings often complain, "Why don't my children sit with me?" We respond, "Because, they relate a joke to you, but you never re- 364 Between the living and the dead 54 spond! They relate their stories from school, but they feel as if they are talking to a wall. Hence, they never feel excited to sit with or speak to you. Even if a person were to mention a story to you which you already know, then there is no reason not to respond to it positively." `Abdullah bin al-Mubarak said, "By Allah, sometimes a person would relate something to me, and even though I knew of it before his mother gave birth to him, I would still listen to him as if I was hearing this for the first time." How beautiful is this skill! Just before the battle of Khandaq, the Muslims dug trenches and perfected them. There was a man amongst them whose name was Ju'ayl, but the Prophet changed it to `Amr. As the companions were busy working, they began to sing: His name he changed, Ju'ayl to `Amr, Gave the poor man that day his help. As they all said, "`Amr", the Messenger of Allah joined them and said: "`Amr!" When they said, "Help", he joined them and said: &q...
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- Spring '12