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Unformatted text preview: ing, you will see that they only move their head or eyes.They may move their mouth from time to time, but only when smiling, without saying a word! Despite this, people love them and long to sit in their company. Why is this? It is because they exercise what is called the `calm attraction' effect. The art of listening has a various set of skills. In fact, someone interested in this subject once informed me that he has attended more than fifteen training sessions on this subject alone! Compare three people: You speak to the first about an incident that occurred to you, and as you begin, he interrupts you
559 The art of listening 85 and says, "Yes, something very similar also happened with me!" You say to him, "OK, but please let me finish my story." He remains silent for a while and just as you get to the heart of the story, he interrupts again, saying, "Correct! Correct! This is exactly what happened to me. Once I went to..." You say to him again, "Please, brother, wait..." He then falls silent, but when patience becomes unbearable for him, he interrupts again and says, "Please, hurry up!" As for the second person, as you speak to him, he looks to his right and left. He may even take his mobile phone out of his pocket and write text messages as you speak, or who knows, he might even be playing games on it! The third person knows how to listen attentively.You notice that as you speak, he fixes his gazes on you.You realise that he is carefully following your words. Sometimes he shakes his head in agreement, sometimes he smiles and sometimes he presses his lips out of surprise. Sometimes, he might say, "Amazing! SubhanAllah!" Which of the three aforementioned people would you long to be in the company of and happily visit? No doubt the third! Therefore, capturing people's hearts is not only accomplished by letting them hear what they would like to hear, but by also listening to what they would like us to hear. I...
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This note was uploaded on 03/19/2012 for the course REL 101 taught by Professor Professorsunni during the Spring '12 term at N.C. State.
- Spring '12