NMILLS_ETH_WK3ESSAY-1 - Discrimination in Current American...

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Discrimination in Current American Society 1 Welcome to WritePoint, the automated review system that recognizes errors most commonly made by university students in academic essays. The system embeds comments into your paper and suggests possible changes in grammar and style. Please evaluate each comment carefully to ensure that the suggested change is appropriate for your paper, but remember that your instructor's preferences for style and format prevail. You will also need to review your own citations and references since WritePoint capability in this area is limited. Thank you for using WritePoint. Discrimination in Current American Society Nicole Mills ETH/125 1/16/2011 Christine Stuart
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Discrimination in Current American Society 2 Discrimination in Current American Society There is ["There is" is an awkward phrase if "there" is not clearly a location] no ethnic group, race, or gender that is [Wordiness: see if you can remove "that" or "that is"] immune to discrimination in America. There are [Avoid using this phrase] many forms of discrimination; the types that I believe to be the most prevalent in the society of the United States are environmental justice issues and reverse discrimination. In effort [Add "an" before "effort"] to eliminate discrimination in the work place [Check spelling--"workplace" is one word] , affirmative action was requested [The passive voice is a form of "be" (was) and a participle (requested). Over-use of the passive voice can make paragraphs officious and tedious to read. Try to use the active voice most often; for example, passive voice = The paper was completed on time. Active voice = the student completed the paper on time--See Center for Writing Excellence > Tutorials & Guides > Grammar & Writing Guides > Active & passive voice] by President Kennedy in the early 1960s. However, the vagueness of this executive order has unintentionally created [Doctoral-level comment (also recommended for any academic writer)--do not divide two-part verb beginning with has/have/had. Try to place "unintentionally" before or after the two-part verb (has created)--"unintentionally has created" or "has created unintentionally" (or place "unintentionally" later in the sentence)] a breeding ground for reverse discrimination. This essay will cover each form of discrimination mentioned, including affirmative action and will provide specific examples of each to help illustrate the various types of discrimination that is [Wordiness: see if you can remove "that" or "that is"] prevalent in American society today. Environmental forms of discrimination are not always obvious and often affect the impoverished. Schaefer (2006) stated,“ Environmental justice refers to the efforts to ensure that
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Discrimination in Current American Society 3 hazardous substances are controlled so that all communities receive protection regardless of race
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NMILLS_ETH_WK3ESSAY-1 - Discrimination in Current American...

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