8.7 E-Mail Revision Exercise - Activity 7.2 E-Mail Revision...

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Activity 7.2 E-Mail Revision Weaknesses : 1. Fails to summarize the message in the subject line. 2. Does not immediately reveal the purpose of the message in the opening sentence. The opening paragraph is too long; it contains a “details” items that should appear in the second paragraph. 3. Suffers from acute wordiness throughout the e-mail message. 4. Fails to use headings or listing techniques for the three recommendations. 5. Introduces an unrelated topic (the date and topic of the next Workplace Issues conference). 6. The closing paragraph is too long; it contains a “details” item that should have appeared in the next-to-last paragraph. Original Problem : On the next page Turnitin.com : When you complete your revision, please “cut” (delete) the instruction page (this page). Save the one- page revision on your diskette. Submit the one-page revision to turnitin.com (“Activity 7.2”) before the end of class today .
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8.7 E-Mail Revision Exercise - Activity 7.2 E-Mail Revision...

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