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13.4 Activity 9.5 (solution) - June is our busiest month...

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9.5 Document for Analysis: Wedding Request Refusal (Objs. 1−4) Weaknesses Fails to open with a buffer statement before announcing the bad news. Uses negative words ( regret, unfortunately). Implies that the writer is not as smart as other brides who booked in advance. Does not use subordinate clause to introduce bad news. Provides reason for bad news but uses an arrogant rather than sympathetic tone. Suggests alternative but fails to make it easy for reader to follow through on the alternative. Makes little effort to promote the alternative or develop goodwill for the Napa Valley Inn. Does not provide telephone number or helpful encouragement to call. Revision Current date Ms. Sonya Capretta 2459 Sierra Avenue Fresno, CA 93710 Dear Ms. Capretta: Thanks for your inquiry regarding weddings at the Napa Valley Inn, one of the most beautiful and romantic settings in the country.
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Unformatted text preview: June is our busiest month, and this year is no exception. Although all of the Saturdays in June are booked, we can accommodate your party in midweek if you reserve soon. With unparalleled cuisine and service, along with panoramic Napa Valley and vineyard views, our Inn offers a unique, intimate ambiance in a breathtaking location for your special event. Let the Napa Valley Inn with its 45 Mediterranean-style rooms and suites, each with its own sun-drenched private terrace, provide the perfect location for you and your guests to celebrate your union. Afternoon ceremonies typically begin at 11 a.m., while evening ceremonies usually begin at 6 p.m. Please call me at 1-800-435-3321 so that I can help you plan a midweek event in June. But act quickly to ensure your reservation. Sincerely,...
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