Ryan Spiering’s Critique for Cesar Ybarra “Forever Young” 1. I really enjoyed this story about you and your friend. I was defiantly caught off guard at the end when your friend passed away. To me it was a little too sudden with to little follow up. My recommendation is to go back and maybe expand on how his death affected you. I know you already did that a little bit but I think a little more would make it a little better, but that’s just me. Great story! 2. I liked how you indirectly characterized your friend. You didn’t put much physical or direct characterization, which might add to it or it might not, I’m not sure, but I did feel a little detracted from your friend. You did a good job explaining the story and adding some detail in different places, if you can find any places that you can add detail and think it will add to your story I would do that. 3. The two anecdotes I found were when you played golf and the other guy cheated, and when he died. I liked the length and depth of the first but the second one
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This note was uploaded on 03/29/2012 for the course SPANISH 102 taught by Professor Lopez during the Spring '12 term at Cuyamaca College.