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Unformatted text preview: Belong: Happiness is A Need to Belong: Happiness is found between • • • “Feral” children, solitary confinement Psychopathology, violence related to loneliness Social support and immune system – Cohen: more friends, fewer colds – Kiecolt­Glaser: stronger marriages, better immune systems • Intimate relationship and happiness (Happiness is Between) – Myers, Diener • One friend rule for children with difficulties Costs of Social Exclusion Costs of Social Exclusion • Social Exclusion = Physical pain • Being rejected – Increases feelings of pain – Reduces performance on IQ test – Activation of the anterior cingulate in ball tossing paradigm (Williams et al., 2003) – Many kids who bully, school shooters are socially excluded The Invisible Hand of Family: The Invisible Hand of Family: Attachment Theory (Bowlby) • Three Systems – – – caregiving: for offspring Reproductive: desire Attachment: pairbonding • Working Models: Ideas about caregivers • Attachment styles – Secure: loving, warm, trusting – Anxious: worried, intrusive • More likely to have experienced death of parent, divorce, abuse – Avoidant: dismissive, cold Secure style Secure style • I find it easy to get comfortable with others and am comfortable depending on them and having them depend on me. I don’t often worry about being abandoned or about others getting too close to me Avoidant/Dismissive Avoidant/Dismissive • I am somewhat uncomfortable being close. I find it difficult to trust completely, difficult to allow myself to depend on anyone. I am nervous when anyone gets close, and often, romantic partners want me to be more intimate than I feel comfortable being. Anxious style Anxious style • I find that others are reluctant to get as close as I would like. I often worry that my partner doesn’t really love me or won’t stay with me. I want to merge completely with another person, and this desire sometimes scares people away The Attachment Perspective The Attachment Perspective • The healthy lives of securely attached – – – – – – Report greater life satisfaction More likely to remain in stable relations Higher positive emotions on daily basis Mor...
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