Tesserhighlysuccessfulparentslesscloseto

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Unformatted text preview: : Kelley & Stahelski – Competitive people make others competitive – Think everyone is competitive • Hostile Attribution Bias (Ken Dodge) Blame in couples, Karney Percentage m aki ng offer • People are selfish, 80 70 60 50 40 30 20 10 0 40--50% < 40% Toxic thought: Happiness found in Toxic thought: Happiness found in Unbridled pursuit of Self­Interest • Ayn Rand: To act on – Cooperation lights up Ventral Caudate • Dunn et al. (2008) – Average American: spends 1714 on self, 146 giving 0.25 Change i n happi ness from m orni ng • behalf of another person is treason Rilling 2002 0.2 0.15 0.1 0.05 0 -0.05 -0.1 -0.15 -0.2 Give to others Spend on self Rumination (Nolen­Hoeksema) Rumination (Nolen­Hoeksema) • Dwell on problems, overthink • Measured by: “I go to my room alone and think about my feelings” “I isolate myself and think about the reasons I’m feeling this way” • Related to: – gender differences in depression – ruminative style leads to depression, transforms negative moods into enduring dysphoric states – rumination leads to less optimism, reduced energy, less motivation, worsened concentration, depressive emotion and though What to do? What to do? • • • Distract Stop! Contemplate – Loving kindness, gratitude, appreciate common humanity, suffering • Fill your environment with healthy thoughts Individualism, Myths of wisdom of Individualism, Myths of wisdom of the ages • We adhere to individualist credo (we’re separate, find truth on own) • Great Tradition: Age of Enlightenment (Individual Rights), Transcendentalism (Emerson; Whitman: Song of Myself) • As people age, the thing the seek the most is loving friends, family; connection (Carstensen) Losing our ultrasociality? Losing our ultrasociality? • Divorce rate high (40% to 50%) • Marital satisfaction has declined in past 30 years (Myers) • Rise in loneliness (Caccioppo) • Americans have lost on average 1 close friend in the past 20 years • Average American child spends more time watching TV than with parents A Need to...
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