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People are more likely to believe the non verbal

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Unformatted text preview: n are aligned with each other. People are more likely to believe the non-verbal aspects of communication than the verbal aspects if the two conflict. 4.5.1 Tone of Voie According to Mehrabian, the tone of voice we use is responsible for about 35-40 percent of the message we are sending. Tone involves the volume you use, the level and type of emotion that you communicate and the emphasis that you place on the words that you choose. To see how this works, try saying the sentences in Figure 5 with the emphasis each time on the word in bold. I didn’t say he borrowed my book. I didn’t say he borrowed my book. I didn’t say he borrowed my book. I didn’t say he borrowed my book. I didn’t say he borrowed my book. I didn’t say he borrowed my book. I didn’t say he borrowed my book. Figure 5 – Impact of Tone of Voice Notice that the meaning of the sentence changes each time, even though the words are the same. The emphasis you place on the word draws the listener’s attention, indicating that the word is important somehow. In this case, the emphasis indicates that the word is an error. So in the first example, I didn’t say he borrowed my book, the phrase includes the message that someone else said it. The implied information continues to change in each sentence, despite the words remaining the same each time. Download free ebooks at bookboon.com 28 Communication Skills Managing Your Career 4.5.2 Body Language Over half of the message that we are sending to others is non-verbal, according to Mehrabian. This means that we receive more than half of what a person is communicating through the subconscious messages they are sending with body language. Examples of body language include: Facial expressions The way they are standing or sitting Any swaying or other movement Gestures with their arms or hands Eye contact (or lack thereof) Breathing rate Swallowing or coughing Blushing Fidgeting Basically, body language includes anything they are doing with their body besides speaking. We recognize this communication instinctively, without having to be told what it means. There is another reason to understand body language besides being able to read what another is saying to you subconsciously. You can use it to communicate intentionally that you are on the same wavelength as another person. Next time you are in a conversation that you are enjoying or with whom it is important to you to make a good impression, notice their body language. Now notice yours. Chances are, you have subconsciously mimicked their body language. If they lean forward, you lean forward. If they cross one foot over their knee, you do the same. This is our automatic response to someone that we want to establish a positive connection with – and it’s one you can use to your advantage. When you are in a situation where you want to convey your support of another person, you can intentionally mimic their body language. If you are standing in the hallway and they lean to one side, mirror their action. If they sit back and relax, do the same. You are sending subconscious signals that you are on their side, even if the topic that you are discussing is one where there may be disagreement. It reaffirms that you are part of the same team, no matter what else might be going on. You can also use this tool to gauge whether or not others are buying in on what you are saying. Are they using words that express agreement, but sitting all wound up with crossed arms and legs? Unless they just happen to be cold, chances are that there is some matter still unresolved in their mind. You can use this signal as information to you that you still need to do some explaining or ask some additional questions. Download free ebooks at bookboon.com 29 Communication Skills Managing Your Career 4.5.3 Verbal Communication The third communication element is verbal communication. Believe it or not, it is actually the least impactful element in face-to-face communication. The old adage is true – it’s not what you say, it’s how you say it that counts. Of course, this is a bit simplified. We do want to use verbal communications, the words we choose, to our best advantage. You would definitely make a different impression if you curse during your presentation than if you don’t. Choosing our words carefully is a way to enhance our message, but we should remember that it is not the most important part of the message. We should not neglect to pay attention to the other non-verbal elements. Please click the advert But what about when we are limited to using only verbal communication? Given that we know that faceto-face communication delivers the most complete message, we know that verbal communication alone can be challenging in creating effective communication. You might think that talking on the telephone or sending off a quick email is an excellent time saver. There are times when this is true. For example, when confirming specific facts or asking simple questions. But for many communication needs,...
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