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Unformatted text preview: til depleted, beaten, and broken, the Jew flopped to the floor.
First, a roar.
The referee counted. He had a gold tooth and a plethora of nostril hair.
Slowly, Max Vandenburg, the Jew, rose to his feet and made himself upright. His voice wobbled. An invitation.
“Come on, Führer, ” he said, and this time, when Adolf Hitler set upon his Jewish counterpart, Max stepped
aside and plunged him into the corner. He punched him seven times, aiming on each occasion for only one
With the seventh punch, he missed. It was the Führer’s chin that sustained the blow. All at once, Hitler hit the
ropes and creased forward, landing on his knees. This time, there was no count. The referee flinched in the
corner. The audience sank down, back to their beer. On his knees, the Führer tested himself for blood and
straightened his hair, right to left. When he returned to his feet, much to the approval of the thousand-strong crowd, he edged forward and did something quite strange. He turned his back on the Jew and took the gloves
from his fists.
The crowd was stunned.
“He’s given up,” someone whispered, but within moments, Adolf Hitler was standing on the ropes, and he was
addressing the arena.
“My fellow Germans,” he called, “you can see something here tonight, can’t you?” Bare-chested, victory-eyed,
he pointed over at Max. “You can see that what we face is something far more sinister and powerful than we
ever imagined. Can you see that?”
They answered. “Yes, Führer.”
“Can you see that this enemy has found its ways—its despicable ways—through our armor, and that clearly, I
cannot stand up here alone and fight him?” The words were visible. They dropped from his mouth like jewels.
“Look at him! Take a good look.” They looked. At the bloodied Max Vandenburg. “As we speak, he is plotting
his way into your neighborhood. He’s moving in next door. He’s infesting you with his family and he’s about to
take you over. He—” Hitler glanced at him a moment, with disgust. “He will soon own you, until it is he who
stands not at...
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- Winter '13