Lecture 14 & 15 - Active Listening & Social Support

Involvement in a range of social activities or social

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Unformatted text preview: le Support: Support we provide someone that he/she isn’t aware of. • Why? Costs of receiving social support (face threats) • Problems: lack of reciprocity 32 16 10/9/2012 Social Support: Special Issues Reciprocity • Reciprocity of social support is one of the greatest predictors of relational satisfaction. • Checklists. • What does this mean for invisible support? 33 Social Support: Key Terms Optimal Matching • Social support is effective when it meets the coping needs of the situation at hand. – For example, offering someone money (tangible support) when their dog just got run over by a car (emotional trauma) is not a good match. – Giving them money when their car breaks down, however, might be a great match. • Social support’s effectiveness depends on who is giving it. – Ex: support groups. 34 17 10/9/2012 Social Support: Special Issues Advice • Something we are quick to give when someone has a problem. • Why are we so quick to give it? • Labeled as both one of the most helpful and most UNHELPFUL forms of attempted support. • Keep this in mind : Are the looking for advice? 35 Social Support: Special Issues Timing • The placement of advice affects how we interpret the message. • “You know, you should stop eating as much fast food and start exercising more. Maybe walking.” 36 18 10/9/2012 • 37 38 19 10/9/2012 Hierarchy of Comforting Strategy Sophistication (Burleson, 1984) • Sophisticated (good) comforting messages are all about how you address the other person’s feelings. Burleson explains that the effectiveness of comforting messages can be judged by three attributes, specifically, comforting messages are effective to the extent they EXPLICITLY: (1) Acknowledge, (2) Legitimate, (3) Elaborate on the distressed person’s feelings. 39 Performing each of these actions leads to the following outcomes: Projects a greater degree of involvement with distressed others and their problems. Evaluative positive. More feeling centered. Generally more accepting of the distressed other. Cognitively oriented explanation of feelings (may help distressed person process through and gain insight on their situation). 40 20 10/9/2012 • Don’t ignore the emotions. • Don’t chastise or ridicule someone for feeling the way they do. • Don’t try to distract them or take their mind off the problem. • Don’t talk around the emotions (e.g., “that sucks.”). 41 So, how well does a message EXPLICITLY: Acknowledge Legitimate Elaborate 42 21...
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This note was uploaded on 02/03/2014 for the course COM 225 taught by Professor Desryaud during the Spring '08 term at SUNY Buffalo.

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