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Marriage and the Family

Negative effect of a critical spirit is major for

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Unformatted text preview: , acceptance, belonging, love, concern) concern) Willingness to accept the “behavioral norms” that Willingness grow as the relationship develops. grow WHAT MAKES A COMMITMENT LAST? LAST? DEGREE OF COMFORT IN THE DEGREE RELATIONSHIP – MARITAL ADJUSTMENT. ADJUSTMENT. AMOUNT OF PLEASURE AN AMOUNT INDIVIDUAL RECEIVES – MARITAL SATISFACTION. SATISFACTION. HOW LIKELY A COUPLE IS TO REMAIN HOW TOGETHER – MARITAL STABILITY. TOGETHER Commitment can be measured by three basic standards three Duration – length of time. Intensity – The strength of feeling and depth of caring that each partner is willing to invest in the other. to Priority – is calculated not only in the quantity of time and energy expended but also in the quality of a couple’’s mutual s also involvement. involvement. FAMILY STRENGTHS PROJECT FAMILY Nick Stennett, et al PURPOSE – to study families who PURPOSE exhibited traits of strength, health, and happiness. happiness. DEFINITION – A family which has a high DEFINITION degree of marital happiness, satisfying parent child relationships and displays the capability to meet each others’ needs. capability FAMILY STRENGTHS PROJECT FAMILY Nick Stennett, et al History of project – Ok, Ne, Ca, History internationally over 3,000 families have been reached…and the number is still growing. growing. Results – We are now able to isolate a Results number of traits that appear in strong healthy families. healthy Major Findings of Family Strengths Project Project THESE FAMILIES ARE NOT PERFECT. Yet, these findings, traits, qualities can be Yet, taught – learned. taught These traits, qualities, concepts can be These found in scripture. found Quality # 1 – Expressing Appreciation Appreciation One of our deepest needs. Negative effect of a critical spirit is major. For growth, appreciation must be expressed. Negative, critical statements are rephrased. Strong families: build each other up, make each Strong other feel good, thank one another in a number of ways, and continually express appreciation. of Quality #2 – Spend Time Together Quality Genuinely enjoyed time together. Do a great many things together. Do a lot of family decision making together. Sometimes certain family members spent time Sometimes together. together. This quality seems to be central to all the other This qualities. qualities. A balance of both quantity and quality of time. Quality # 3 -- Commitment Quality Expressed individually as well as to the family Expressed unit. unit. Families were stable and responsible. When commitment is present, we often see When respect, trust, acceptance, honesty, unselfishness, and a sense of belonging. unselfishness, This is the glue that holds the family together. This quality overrides all other commitments. Quality # 4 – Good Communication Patterns Patterns Strong families see communication as Strong necessary, vital and rewarding. necessary, Even little things are important. They not only talked but listened. Strong families have disagreements but Strong work them out. work Most talk is positive. Good communication starts with Mom and Good Dad. Dad. Quality # 5 – Strong Religious Orientation Orientation A clearly defined spiritual life style. Religious values contributed to a better family Religious atmosphere. atmosphere. Religious values and lifestyle gave a sense of Religious purpose and meaning to life. purpose The stronger the religious values, the stronger The the commitment to spouse and family. the This quality continued to be seen in the other This five qualities. five Quality # 6 – Ability to deal with crises in a positive manner crises Strong families know that a crisis will come. When it does come, they are able to respond in When a constructive way. constructive They continue to see some positive element They even in the darkest times. even Causes them to pull together not apart. Strong families know how to remain flexible and Strong adaptable. When the storm is over, the family is still together. still What we have learned from the family strengths project family How we respond to one another is very How important. important. These 6 qualities develop a sense of we not me. See and think of a family as a place of refuge, See comfort, fun, support, acceptance, and a source of strength. of These 6 qualities can be taught and learned by These common, everyday, average people. common, The six qualities can be found in and sanctioned by the Bible and Appreciation – I Thess. 5:11 – “Therefore Appreciation encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.” other Spending time together – Mark 6:31 – Spending “Because they did not even have a a chance to eat, Jesus said, come with me by your selves to a quiet place and get some rest. some The six qualities can be found in and sanctioned by the Bible and Commitment – Matthew 19:6 – “Jesus Commitment reminded his listeners of the permanent nature of the marriage commitment. nature Communication – Eph. 4:31,32 – “Get rid Communication of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another, just as Christ forgave you. Christ The six qualities can be found in and sanctioned by the Bible and Religious orientation – Deut. 6:4-9 – Best Religious passage which emphasizes this quality. We do what we do because of who we are. are. Crisis – James 1:2-4 – “Consider it pure Crisis joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. perseverance. Commitment in Marriage Commitment Matthew 19:1-12 God (verse 6) – “Therefore what GOD has (verse GOD joined together, let man not separate.” joined Spouse (verse 9) – “…anyone who divorces his wife, (verse except for fornication…” except Self Self (verse 11) – “Jesus replied, ‘not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given…” it Matthew 19:1-12 “Commitment” “Commitment” God (verses 4-6) Spouse (verses 8-9) Self (verses 11-12)...
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