Marriage and the Family

Should your fountains be dispersed abroad streams of

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Unformatted text preview: rationalize the, minimize, or spiritualize the gross error of adultery, death is written all over it. • Sexual non-restraint kills – it kills the body, marriages, friendships, relationships with one’s children, fellowship, spiritual vitality, sensitivity to God. • It is the ultimate dead end. SEXUAL WISDOM PROPER ENJOYMENT OF SEX • The Bible teaches that God’s plan for sexual enjoyment prescribes exclusive love of a husband for his wife. • Proverbs 5:15-18 – “Drink water from your own cistern, and running water from your own well. Should your fountains be dispersed abroad, streams of water in the streets? Let them be only your own, and not for strangers with you. Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice with the wife of your youth.” SEXUAL WISDOM • Sex is not just for procreation (producing children), God gave sex for a man and his wife to enjoy. • Proverbs 5:19 – “As a loving deer and a graceful doe, let her breasts satisfy you at all times; and always be enraptured with her love.” SEXUAL WISDOM • No one is more beautiful than a woman who is loved by her husband. • An adulteress dresses seductively and adorns herself with jewelry and fashionable hairstyles but the virtuous woman adorns herself with Christ. • Proverbs 31:10 – “Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.” Guidelines for Sexual Survival • Don’t fall for the world’s public relations job – Proverbs 23:17,18 – “Do not let your heart envy sinners, but in the fear of the Lord continue all the day long; for surely there is a hereafter.” • Unfettered pleasure is not the ultimate experience in life – God’s wisdom warns, “He who loves pleasure (pleasure for pleasure’s sake) will be a poor man.” Guidelines for Sexual Survival • The senses can never be satisfied – “Hell and destruction are never full; so the eyes of man are never satisfied.” • Happiness has nothing to do with fun and fun has nothing to do with happiness. HIS NEEDS HER NEEDS • Dr. Willard Harley, Jr. believes one of the basic reasons for affairs in marriages is that one partner or both are not having their most basic needs met within the relationship and one goes outside the relationship looking for fulfillment of those needs. • Each person has an emotional “love bank account” where deposits are made by positive actions or statements. HIS NEEDS HER NEEDS • Through studies of many married couples, Harley came up with the five top needs for women and the top five needs for men. • Please notice these are needs – not just desires or momentary impulses that will go away when fulfilled once or twice. It takes a lifetime of commitment. BASIC NEEDS OF WOMEN IN MARRIAGE • • • • • AFFECTION CONVERSATION HONESTY AND OPENNESS FINANCIAL SUPPORT FAMILY COMMITMENT BASIC NEEDS OF MEN IN MARRIAGE • • • • • SEXUAL FULFILLMENT RECREATIONAL COMPANION AN ATTRACTIVE SPOUSE DOMESTIC SUPPORT ADMIRATION Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman • What happens to love after marriage? • Why is it that so few couples seem to find the secret of keeping love alive? • Chapman believes it is because “People speak different love languages”. • Sometimes people are sincerely speaking a language of love but it is not being understood by their mate. Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman • Children develop unique emotional patterns. – Some develop low self esteem, others high. – Some feel insecure, others feel secure. – Some feel loved, others feel unloved. – Children who have low self-esteem will develop a different primary love language based on their unique psychological makeup, as will each of the other individuals. Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman • Seldom do a husband and wife have the same primary love language. We tend to speak our primary love language and when our mate does not understand that we are expressing our love, we can become hurt and confused. • In order to keep love alive, we must speak our mate’s primary love language. KEEPING THE LOVE TANK FULL • Psychologists have concluded that the need to feel loved is a primary human emotional need. • The Apostle Paul indicated that all human accomplishments not motivated by love are in the end empty. • Inside every person is an “emotional love tank” waiting to be filled. When our tanks are full, our relationships mature normally. When they are empty, we will behave in abnormal ways. KEEPING THE LOVE TANK FULL • Could it be that this tank is the key that makes marriages work? Could it be that deep inside hurting couples exists an invisible emotional love tank with its gauge on empty? • Could it be that the misbe...
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