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Unformatted text preview: hows that you are
interested in what is being said.
c. Don’t rush, interrupt, or finish
sentences for the speaker.
d. Ask questions for more information. Six Hints for great communication
2. Learn good listening skills.
e. Paraphrasing is summarizing what
the speaker has just said. It is an
extremely helpful tool because it:
(1) makes you listen carefully.
(2) lets the speaker know if the
message was communicated
(3) eliminates misunderstanding which can
lead to conflict. Six Hints for great communication
3. Learn how to respond effectively
a. Be specific in your agreement or
disagreement – not general.
b. Be descriptive and logical, not
c. Be tactful by trying to say something
positive even if you disagree.
d. Disagreement is made easier if you explain
why you disagree and make sure the
speaker knows you are not being personal. Six Hints for great communication
4. Learn to be assertive.
a. You have the right and the
responsibility to say what you believe,
including agreements and
b. Ignoring your own feelings may avoid an
argument, but it means you are not being
true to yourself which leaves you feeling
angry or manipulated thereby reducing both
relationship quality and effectiveness.
c. An assertive person is usually happier,
more effective, and dependable. Six Hints for great communication
5. Learn to recognize your feelings.
a. Be aware of the way you react when
you are listening to someone
(stomach churning, nose flaring,
b. Be able to evaluate your feelings –
are they fair, are your emotions
interfering with your judgment?
c. Know your strengths and weaknesses Six Hints for great communication
6. Practice positive ways of dealing
with anger and stress.
a. Pay attention to the cues your body gives you to
slow down – take a deep breath and think what to
b. Learn to read between the lines i.e. non verbal
communication. Think about the different messages
you get when “I’m fine” is said in different ways.
- with a smile, cheerful voice.
- with clenched teeth.
- looking down nose at you
- avoiding eye contact by looking away or down. BARRIERS TO COMMUNICATION
Cultural differences Differences in sex-role
Different uses of words
defensive communication Three Levels of the Stress Reaction
Job Noise Events Dog Barking In the
environment Kids Potential
for Stress My Belief
don’t have to
Once this appraisal
is made Stability and
Once this appraisal
is made Emotional And
Physiological Arousal FIVE ILLOGICAL THINKING
INFLATED LOGIC – Magnifying problems until
they are blown out of proportion.
POLAR LOGIC – Seeing situations at the
extremes, good or bad, right or wrong, all or
nothing, win or lose, with no middle ground.
CONTAGIOUS LOGIC – Forming a judgment
based on a past situation and carrying it over to
the present, so we don’’t see the unique
characteristics of the new situation.
characteristics FIVE ILLOGICAL THINKING
LEAPING LOGIC – Jumping to conclusions
based on insufficient information, substituting
opinions for facts and believing we have the
FANTASY LOGIC – Expecting the impossible
from ourselves or others, ignoring clues that our
expectations are unrealistic, until we become
disappointed and frustrated. How to Escalate a Conflict
Name-calling (describing another person or
issues as “rigid”, “stupid”).
Issue expansion ( pulling in other issues to
increase significance of the conflict).
Coalition Formation (finding other people to
serve as allies to increase power).
Constricting the other person (cutting off
discussion, announcing time limitations, etc.
Personal attack. How to reduce the conflict
Fractionation – breaking the conflict into
smaller issues one at a time.
Asking for more information about the
other person’s point of view.
Stating your own position clearly/concisely
Compromising – relying on a situation
where everyone loses and gains.
Resist tendencies to criticize, attack, or
use emotionally loaded words.
use How to maintain the conflict
Striking a bargain. Each side gives
something to please the other and
maintain the status quo, but the real issue
is not resolved. i...
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- Fall '14