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Feedback avoid violence and silence avoid learn to

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Unformatted text preview: eeling defensive? feedback Avoid Violence and Silence Avoid Learn to Look at yourself and others: – Watch for emotional signs: feeling threatened, Watch frustrated, and angry frustrated, – Watch for physical signs: jaw tightening or stomach in Watch knots – Watch for behavioral signs: voice rising, finger Watch pointing, or silence pointing, Avoid Silence: watch for withdrawing, avoiding, Avoid and masking and Avoid Violence: watch for controlling, labeling, Avoid and attacking and How you handle stress you Learn to Look for Your Own Style Under Learn Stress Stress Do the results match what you think you Do do? do? How can you train yourself to recognize How this style, and stop it from continuing? this Skill 3: Make it Safe Skill What makes you feel safe in a What conversation? conversation? What can you do to insure that other feel What safe conversing with you? safe How to make it safe How Step out of the content and rebuild safety. – Watch for silence and violence Insure mutual purpose – Signs purpose is at risk: debate, accusations, hidden Signs agendas, and circling back to the same topic agendas, Insure mutual respect – Signs respect is at risk: interruptions, pouting, namecalling, looks of fear, pain, or hurt feelings, anger, calling, raised voice, insults, and threats raised How to bring safety back How Apologize when appropriate Contrast to fix misunderstandings – Use a don’t and then a do to clarify your Use meaning meaning Use CRIB to achieve mutual purpose – Commit to seek mutual purpose – Recognize the purpose behind the strategy – Invent a mutual purpose – Brainstorm new strategies Skill 3 Review Skill Remember: – Watch for violence and silence – Bring back safety if it is lost – Find common purpose – Find mutual respect Skill 4: Master My Stories Skill How to Master Emotions that Destroy How Dialogue Dialogue Think out your emotions, and chose the Think useful ones useful Gain control of your emotions and Gain understand the root cause of them understand Avoid being controlled by Emotion...
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