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Unformatted text preview: eeling defensive?
feedback Avoid Violence and Silence
Learn to Look at yourself and others:
– Watch for emotional signs: feeling threatened,
frustrated, and angry
– Watch for physical signs: jaw tightening or stomach in
– Watch for behavioral signs: voice rising, finger
pointing, or silence
pointing, Avoid Silence: watch for withdrawing, avoiding,
Avoid Violence: watch for controlling, labeling,
and How you handle stress
Learn to Look for Your Own Style Under
Do the results match what you think you
How can you train yourself to recognize
this style, and stop it from continuing?
this Skill 3: Make it Safe
What makes you feel safe in a
What can you do to insure that other feel
safe conversing with you?
safe How to make it safe
Step out of the content and rebuild safety.
– Watch for silence and violence Insure mutual purpose
– Signs purpose is at risk: debate, accusations, hidden
agendas, and circling back to the same topic
agendas, Insure mutual respect
– Signs respect is at risk: interruptions, pouting, namecalling, looks of fear, pain, or hurt feelings, anger,
raised voice, insults, and threats
raised How to bring safety back
Apologize when appropriate
Contrast to fix misunderstandings
– Use a don’t and then a do to clarify your
meaning Use CRIB to achieve mutual purpose
– Commit to seek mutual purpose
– Recognize the purpose behind the strategy
– Invent a mutual purpose
– Brainstorm new strategies Skill 3 Review
– Watch for violence and silence
– Bring back safety if it is lost
– Find common purpose
– Find mutual respect Skill 4: Master My Stories
How to Master Emotions that Destroy
Think out your emotions, and chose the
Gain control of your emotions and
understand the root cause of them
understand Avoid being controlled by Emotion...
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This note was uploaded on 03/16/2014 for the course GE 361 taught by Professor Staff during the Fall '08 term at University of Illinois, Urbana Champaign.
- Fall '08