Stories watch for three clever stories victim story

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Unformatted text preview: s Avoid Understand your emotions – Separate facts from stories – Watch for three clever stories Victim Story Villain Story Helpless Story – Tell the rest of the story Master My Stories Recap Master Think our way to the root cause of our Think emotions. emotions. Identify and question the stories that creat Identify our emotions. our Notice when our own mistakes are fueling Notice our reactions. our Influence our emotions so that we get to Influence dialogue and get the results we really want. want. Skill 5: State My Path Skill How to Speak Persuasively, Not Abrasively How to Speak our Minds How Express your view in ways that maintain Express safety safety Use head and heart Use heart Use the STATE principle: – Share your facts – Tell your story – Ask for others’ paths – Talk tentatively – Encourage testing The “What” Skills The Share your facts: be precise about exactly Share what you saw or heard what Tell you story: share your conclusions and Tell judgments, but watch for signs of deteriorating safety deteriorating Ask for others’ paths: encourage them to Ask express their opinions, observations and feelings feelings The “How” Skills The Talk tentatively: share your plan of action, Talk don’t tell or merely mention it don’t Encourage testing: actively encourage Encourage and challenge your own point of view and encourage and challenge others to challenge your point of view challenge Review Skill 5 Review Remember: – Use the STATE skills for sharing potentially Use threatening messages in a way that minimizes defensiveness. defensiveness. – Share strong opinions without shutting down Share contrary views. contrary Skill 6: Explore Others’ Paths Skill How to Power Up Your Listening How When others are in silence or violence violence Make them feel safe, able to open up Listen and explore what they are saying Listen with genuine interest and respect with Be patient while emotions are worked out Listening and exploring will open others up Listening to your influence to Explore with Added AMPP Explore Explore to find the root cause Ask to get things rolling Mirror to confirm feelings Paraphrase to acknowledge the story Prime when you’re getting nowhere Maintain Safety with ABC Agree – if you agree, move on! Agree Build – if you agree with the point, but not Build the information, build upon the agreement the Compare – if you mostly or completely Compare disagree with the other person, compare your paths without attacking the other person person Skill 7: Move to Action Skill How to Make Decisions and Improve How Accountability Accountability Share with others! Put all other 6 skills to use to make future Put decisions decisions Create a plan of action...
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