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Unformatted text preview: the sentence loose without this qualifier? Term Paper: Scientific Writing Term Paper: Scientific Writing It should be emphasized that these proportions generally are not the result of significant increases in moderate and severe injuries, but in many instances Use reflect mildly injured persons not being positives. seen at a hospital. “The result of” due to Watch out for awkward uses of “to be” “In many instances” often Term Paper: Scientific Writing Term Paper: Scientific Writing Shifting proportions in injury severity may reflect stricter hospital admission criteria rather than true increases in moderate and severe injuries. Principles of Effective Writing Principles of Effective Writing Really long subject! “The fear expressed by some teachers that students would not learn statistics well if they were permitted to use canned computer programs has not been realized in our negatives experience. A careful monitoring of achievement levels before and after the introduction of computers in the teaching of our course revealed no appreciable change in students’ performances.” wordy Passive voice Principles of Effective Writing Principles of Effective Writing “The fear expressed by some teachers that students would not learn statistics well if they were permitted to use canned computer programs has not been realized in our experience. A careful monitoring of achievement levels before and after the introduction of computers in the teaching of our course revealed no appreciable change in students’ performances.” Buried predicate + boring verb “hedge” word Really long subject! Principles of Effective Writing Principles of Effective Writing “Many teachers feared that the use of canned computer programs would prevent students from learning statistics. We monitored student achievement levels before and after the introduction of computers in our course and found no detriments in performance.” Term Paper: Scientific Writing Term Paper: Scientific Writing On a scrap of paper, Try dissecting: Review of each center’s progress in recruitment is important to ensure that the cost involved in maintaining each center’s participation is worthwhile. Term Paper: Scientific Writing Term Paper: Scientific Writing SVO? On a scrap of paper, When’s the Try dissecting: verb coming? Review of each center’s progress in recruitment is important to ensure that the cost involved in maintaining each center’s participation is worthwhile. Watch vague descriptors such as “important” and “worthwhile” Clunky phrase “to be” is a weak verb Term Paper: Scientific Writing Term Paper: Scientific Writing One possible rewrite: Each center’s recruitment progress must be monitored to ensure that the center’s continued participation is cost­effective. But first… But first… A little writing humor… or “the importance of careful grammar…” Spotted in a toilet of a San Francisco office: TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW In a Laundromat: AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT. In a San Francisco department store: BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS. In an office: WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STE...
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