be left to do one thing: walk s-l-o-w-l-y back to his friends, who will rib him and laugh at him,
thereby lowering his self-esteem and guaranteeing that he never initiates another
conversation with a female for as long as he lives. These fears are so primal and embedded in
the male psyche that even if you give him signals to approach you, he may still misread them.
To fail with the opposite sex is a huge blow to the male ego, bigger than any woman can
ever imagine. This fear of humiliation is what fuels the male impulse to fabricate fantasy
hookups, and why guys who
get laid still brag to their friends that they do. It’s why
younger men have bragging competitions about the women they have slept with, or the hot
model who gave them her phone number, or the number of dates they’ve been on in the last
It’s the desire for sexual validation that explains male posturing, posing, and the kind of one-
upmanship that dominates so much masculine behavior. Ever notice how male bonding tends
to be centered around putting each other down and making each other look stupid?
Friendships between men are still often built on fighting for status.
What’s more, a man fights hardest for social status among his own peers. The men whose
opinions he cares the most about are
all the strangers in the bar, but his friends. It’s within
his own group he has to fight for dominance, which is why any public humiliation, particularly
humiliation from women, is so painful.
He’s terrified of what you and your friends are going to say
The risk of rejection by you, and the ridicule he imagines he’ll then suffer at the hands of your
friends, is excruciating—so much so that he would rather hang back and at least cling to the
belief that he
approach you, if he so desired, than risk the prospect of rejection. If you