That he looks even cuter when he smiles you smile

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that he looks even cuter when he smiles. You smile back. Why doesn’t he just come over? It’s okay, you think. Someone will probably introduce you both later. He probably knows one of your friends. Or maybe the host will introduce you. You carry on with your night, catching up with the few people you know in the room. He smiles again. Then he takes his drink and starts to move off. He gives you a lingering look before joining a group of his friends. Maybe you feel a familiar sense of frustration. Why didn’t he come over and say hello? What Freaks Guys Out About Approaching a Woman Try putting yourself in the shoes of a guy for a second. Suppose he spots you from the other side of the room, and he’s decided he likes what he sees. He now has a decision to make: Should he walk across the room and strike up a conversation with you or not? And if not, why not? What’s he got to worry about? He’s worried about looking bad in front of his friends Looking like an idiot in front of his friends means far more to a guy than a girl can ever imagine. What if he strolls over to you and you shoot him down, or give him the blank look of death? What if he thinks your boyfriend is about to return from the bar with a handsome martini? He’ll
be left to do one thing: walk s-l-o-w-l-y back to his friends, who will rib him and laugh at him, thereby lowering his self-esteem and guaranteeing that he never initiates another conversation with a female for as long as he lives. These fears are so primal and embedded in the male psyche that even if you give him signals to approach you, he may still misread them. To fail with the opposite sex is a huge blow to the male ego, bigger than any woman can ever imagine. This fear of humiliation is what fuels the male impulse to fabricate fantasy hookups, and why guys who never get laid still brag to their friends that they do. It’s why younger men have bragging competitions about the women they have slept with, or the hot model who gave them her phone number, or the number of dates they’ve been on in the last week. It’s the desire for sexual validation that explains male posturing, posing, and the kind of one- upmanship that dominates so much masculine behavior. Ever notice how male bonding tends to be centered around putting each other down and making each other look stupid? Friendships between men are still often built on fighting for status. What’s more, a man fights hardest for social status among his own peers. The men whose opinions he cares the most about are not all the strangers in the bar, but his friends. It’s within his own group he has to fight for dominance, which is why any public humiliation, particularly humiliation from women, is so painful. He’s terrified of what you and your friends are going to say The risk of rejection by you, and the ridicule he imagines he’ll then suffer at the hands of your friends, is excruciating—so much so that he would rather hang back and at least cling to the belief that he could approach you, if he so desired, than risk the prospect of rejection. If you

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