This is a dispute where there is a difference of opinion on some topic That

This is a dispute where there is a difference of

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This is a dispute where there is a difference of opinion on some topic. That said, in reality most conflicts involve both incidents and issues . In that case, it is often helpful to begin with an Intent-Action-Effect analysis, followed by a Positions and Interests analysis of the situation. The reason for starting with Intent-Action-Effect is simply that it tends to be easier to build understanding around incidents than it is to build understanding around issues. Before we leave this story, it is worth noting what happened in this dispute. When Lee refused to sign the termination documents, both the company and Lee retained lawyers to help them in this dispute. After several months, the lawyers threw up their hands. They could not get the parties to come to an agreement. Why? Because the company was arguing their case at a substantive level and Lee was arguing his case at a procedural level. Plus, both were deeply influenced but were ignoring the foundational needs level that was going on for both of them. Coming at this conflict from different vantage points, combined with the power of unmet foundational needs in this situation, meant that the two parties were talking past each other. Figure 10: PD7 Unit 04 Reflect and Deconstruct 1 16:18
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12 © University of Waterloo and others In desperation, the lawyers contracted a mediator to see whether a different process could help the parties. The mediators helped the parties begin comparing apples with apples. In other words, the mediator helped them to recognize the differences between these different types of interests, and then to talk about these various interests separately. It was a moving mediation. The company was genuinely surprised that Lee was in favour of downsizing. When he had contested the dismissal agreement, they genuinely thought that he was opposed to downsizing and that all of his complaints were coming from this interest. When the two parties were finally able to talk together about the dismissal process, they finally understood the source of their disagreement. They were also able to discuss how each party had been affected by the process and this part of the conversation allowed them to address the psychological needs the conflict had triggered. With this clear, the parties were able to start working towards an effective termination agreement. All agreed, in retrospect, that when it comes to dismissing deeply respected employees, there has to be a better way than walking those employees out the door. S H I F T F R O M J U D G E M E N T T O C U R I O U S I T Y When we are at our positions, we are typically in a place of judgment. In fact, most of us can be quite defensive when we are at the tops of our icebergs. To get to interests, we must shift from judgment to curiosity to really seek to understand the perspective of the other person.
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  • Spring '18
  • Conflict, Want, Conflict process, John fire Lee

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