We may sometimes prefer people who have different

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We may sometimes prefer people who have different interests and skills from ours (Tiedens & Jimenez, 2003) When it comes to personality traits It is similarity that matters Complementarity (being different from the other) just does not have much influence on liking Attracted to people whose scent suggests dissimilar enough genes to prevent inbreeding and offspring with weakened immune systems (Garver-Apgar & others, 2006) Robert Winch (1958) The needs of an outgoing and domineering person would naturally complement those of someone who is shy and submissive Most of us can think of couples who view their differences as complementary Most people feel attracted to expressive, outgoing people (Friedman & others, 1988) Nondepressed people who most prefer the company of happy people Some complementarity may evolve as a relationship progresses Popularity supposed tendency, in a relationship between two people, for each to complete what is missing in the other People seem slightly more prone to like and to marry those whose needs and personalities are similar - Liking those who like us (Reciprocal liking) o Liking is usually mutual o Proximity and attractiveness influence our initial attraction to someone o Similarity influences longer-term attraction o One person’s liking for another does predict the other’s liking in return (Kenny & Nasby, 1980; Montoya & Insko, 2008) o One person’s liking another cause the other to return the appreciation Those told that certain others like or admire them usually feel a reciprocal affection (Berscheid & Walster, 1978) o People are sensitive to the slightest hint of criticism
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Berscheid and others (1969) Students like another student who says eight seven positive things about them better than One who says seven positive things and one negative thing o Whether we are judging ourselves or others Negative information carries more weight because, being less usual, it grabs more attention (Yzerbyt & Leyens, 1991) Bad is stronger than good (Baumeister & others, 2001) o Attribution If praise clearly violates what we know is true We may lose respect for the flatterer Wonder whether the compliment springs from ulterior motives (Shrauger, 1975) We often perceive criticism to be more sincere than praise (Coleman & others, 1987) Our reactions depend on our attributions Ingratiation The use of strategies, such as flattery, by which people seek to gain another’s favor Both the flatter and the praise lose appeal (Gordon, 1996; Jones, 1964) If there is no apparent ulterior motive We warmly receive both flattery and flatterer o Self-esteem and attraction Hatfield (1965) Wondered if another’s approval is especially rewarding after we have been deprived of approval Gave some students either very favorable or very unfavorable analyses of their personalities, affirming some and wounding others Asked them to evaluate several people Including an attractive male confederate who
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  • Fall '16
  • The Hours, partner, Interpersonal relationship, Interpersonal attraction,  Feel

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