If they want to have sexual relationships with men

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Understanding Abnormal Behavior
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Chapter 10 / Exercise 02
Understanding Abnormal Behavior
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Yet many also do it because it’s the only game in town. If they want to have sexual relationships with men then this is the field on which they must play o And for the women who do want relationships, hooking up seems to be the only way to find the sort of relationships they say they want they hope that it will lead somewhere else Race and Hooking Up Hooking up may be a guy thing, but it is also a white guy thing o Minority students are not hooking up at the same rates as white students this is partly because minority students on largely white campuses often feel that everything they do is seen not in terms of themselves as individuals but representative of their minority group Minority students are likely to conform to more conventional dating scripts, especially within their own communities. Our survey found that blacks and Latinos are somewhat less likely to engage in hooking up and Asian students are far less likely to do so Hooking Up and Relationships: “The talk”
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Understanding Abnormal Behavior
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Chapter 10 / Exercise 02
Understanding Abnormal Behavior
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Gendered Intimacies Women tend to be more ambivalent about hookup culture; some report feeling sexy and desirable others feel its cheap and rarely leads anywhere but when it comes to forming an actual relationship the tilt is almost entirely toward the women o They are the ones who must negotiate whether the hooking up will proceed to a deeper level of intimacy o On many campuses women are the ones who typically initiate the “define the relationship” conversation the “DTR” or more simply “the talk” are we a couple or not? She asks It’s the women who want the relationship and the guys who make the final decision Hooking up for guys is less a relationship path than it is for women in fact it serves an entirely different purpose Sex as Male Bonding Hooking up represents the sexual component of young men’s more general aversion to adulthood They don’t feel themselves ready because they see relationships as “too much work” instead they want the benefits of adult relationships which for them seem to be exclusively sexual with non of them responsibility that goes along with adult sexuality the emotional connection caring mutuality and sometimes even the common human decency that mature sexual relationships demand, hooking up is the form of relationship guys want with girls Guys hook up to prove something to other guys o The actual experience of sex pales in comparison to the experience of talking about sex. o Hooking up may have less to do with guys relationships with women and more to do with guys relationships with other guys Hooking up is not for whatever pleasures one might derive from drunken sex on a given weekend Hooking up is a way that guys communicate with other guys its about homosociality The awesome insecurity that underlies such juvenile blustering remains unacknowledged which is interesting since that insecurity is the driving force behind so much of sex in guyland Any information that they do manage to cobble together how it works what to do what women like

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