feels to me is why werent you getting these kinds of grades all along you know

Feels to me is why werent you getting these kinds of

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feels to me is why weren’t you getting these kinds of grades all along, you know, that type of feeling. TH 23 So you can’t even enjoy the compliment. CL 23 Yeah, it sounds like it’s underhanded you know. It has undertones, and just trying real hard to fit in sometimes throughout my life and not really doing it at all. TH 24 So growing up, was your mom often very critical of you, had lots of high expectations for you? CL 24 Um, I would assume so, but I really don’t know. The best answer I could give you. TH 25 Because you don’t know what she expected of you. CL 25 I don’t know is. . . Well, just because she would like for me to do my best, and I think both my parents were supportive to an extent, but it just, even if I did do well or if I did my best, it just never really felt like I was fully appreciated. TH 26 This was from both your parents? CL 26 Yeah, I would say so. TH 27 And who do you feel the most anger toward? CL 27 Um, when I talk on the phone I get frustrated at my mom easier than I get
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13 frustrated with my dad, I’d say. TH 28 I was curious about your laugh when I asked that question. CL 28 Aw geez, who knows. Because I probably didn’t want to think about it. TH 31 Because? CL 31 You know, there are some parts that are harder to go to than others, and I guess this is a part that I’ve avoided for a while I think, you know. TH 32 It’s a painful place. CL 32 Yeah, and for me it might be humor or sleep. I like to sleep to avoid things. TH 33 Does that help? CL 33 Does it help? Probably not, but it makes it go away just like drinking used to or whatever. So, it may be a defense mechanism or whatever you want to call it. TH 34 But it sounds like, I don’t know, tell me if I’m wrong, as I’m sure you will, it’s painful to think about your relationship with them or maybe even her and some hurt and disappointment you feel around that relationship. CL 34 Yeah, like, I don’t know. It’s easier for me to just like kind of grin and bear it, take it, than to say anything. TH 35 Because. CL 35 That’s how I was brought up. I don’t know. Grin and bear it or suck it up or whatever. TH 36 Football attitude. And is that attitude rooted in a family tradition, a cultural tradition, or religious tradition? CL 36 Probably not religious. You know, probably a little bit of both with the family and culture.
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14 TH 37 And what’s the culture? CL 37 Just the macho high school boy image I guess. That and, I don’t know. Overcome obstacles I was taught that if you are going to do something do it 100% and just communicating. It’s easier for me to not communicate than to communicate, and I know that’s not really healthy, and I know it’s not, it really helps our marriage out when we go through tough times when we communicate about it and get to the other side.
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