Which is i know typical butthead behavior im lying

Which is,-I know, typical butthead behavior.
I'm lying awake in the dark on a hot summer
night and I'm thinking, Treasure in the sewer?
What kind of quest is this, huh? Is Freak completely
making this up or what?
Meanwhile there's this cricket making this
creaky cricketnoise that normallyis okay, except
when you're trying to fall asleep then it's not
okay, and you want a big can of Raid, send it
to Disney World or insect heaven or wherever
it is that dead crickets go.
Question: How come Freak knows about this
stuff in the storm drain?
Question: How come we have to put dirt on
our faces?
Question: How come three in the morning? .
Question: How long do crickets live?
Finally I give up. on the first three and work
on the cricket problem, but the little critter is
pretty clever, it stops cricketing whenever I get
too close and I never do find it and squash it
with my shoe, which I swear I am ready to do,
even if crickets are supposed to be harmless.
And then after almost forever it gets to be two-
thirty and I figure that's closeenough, I'll go up
and wait under Freak's window likeI promised.
There',sno moon, the sky is dark and empty,
57

Freak the Mighty
and the back yards are so lonesome it feels
creepy and exciting - the truth is, I've never
been out alone at this time of night.
I·only fall down a couple of times, which
isn't bad considering how hard it is to see. When
I get to Freak's bedroom window, he's waiting
for me. .
"You sound likea car wreck," he says. "Here,
you better put on this shirt so you don't glow
in the dark."
Out of the window he hands me this silly-
feeling shirt.
"Hey wait a minute, this is you mom's
blouse!"
Nit's black," he says. "That's what counts. The
camouflage factor."
"Forget it," I say and give him back the Fair
Gwen's blouse.
Freak Sighs. "Okay," he says. "Roll around
on the ground and darken yourself."
That's easy, and better than wearing some
dumb blouse. "What about you?" I ask, when
I'm covered with dirt, enough so I want to
sneeze.
Freakgoes, {'Bewarethe Force,earthling," and
he stands up in the window and I can see he's
got a Darth Vader costume on, except he's not
wearing the mask part. He opens the .window
all the way and I lift him out and put him on
my shoulders.
He. goes, "Pledge to me your fealty," and I
say, "Huh?" and he says, "Never rnind, there's
58
Rats
or Worse
no time to look up 'fealty.' Just promise you'll
do what I say."
"I promise."
"Go to the end of the block," he orders. "At-
tempt to'conceal us in the shadows."
That's' easy, because the street is one big
shadow. It's so dark I can .hardly see my feet,
or maybe I got some dirt in my eyes, but the
point is no one' sees us because there's no one
to see us. You'd never know anybody lived here,
let, alone a whole blockful of people, it's like
we re on an empty planet or something.
. 'Was the real Darth Vader as tall as this?"
Preak asks, from where he's riding high up on
my shoulders. . . .