Cain walks past the narrator grabs him by the arm

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[ Cain walks past the narrator, grabs him by the arm. ] NARRATOR: There’s something missing. CAIN: Yeah, my brother. Where’ve you been? NARRATOR: No, I mean there’s something else missing. Oh, I know. God forgot the mark of Cain. CAIN: ???
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NARRATOR: Let’s see. [ He rummages through his bag and pulls out a Mr. Yuck sticker. ] Here you go. [ He slaps it on Cain’s forehead. ] CAIN: Why, you little fruitcake! [ He takes up a giant rock and smites the narrator on the head, knocking him dead to the ground instantly. ] Thanks, but no thanks. [ He walks off into the sunset. ] * * * * * [ A man sits on a moss-covered rock, legs folded beneath him. He appears to be in deep thought. ] GOD: [ unseen ] Noah! NOAH: [ head jerks up, eyes snap open ] Yes? GOD: This is God. Listen, we need to talk. NOAH: [ in a disturbingly obedient sort of voice ] Okay. GOD: I’ve been doing some thinking, and I’ve decided to start things over. NOAH: [ curiously ] Okay. GOD: It’s just, I never wanted things to be like this, you know? People killing each other, burning buildings, sacrificing animals – it’s all a big mess. I need a fresh start. NOAH: [ looks around ] Well, but…it’s the world . Can you really just do that? GOD: [ makes an exasperated noise ] I’m God, Noah. Of course I can do that. NOAH: Well…okay. But what does that have to do with me? GOD: I’ve been thinking - NOAH: You said that. GOD: [ says nothing, but sends a bolt of lightning to split open a tree trunk not five feet from where Noah is sitting. ] Don’t interrupt. NOAH: [ leaps up, backs away ] Whoa! GOD: As I was saying. [ Noah sits down, folds his hands obediently in his lap ]
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GOD: Things haven’t exactly gone as I had planned. Disruption, destruction, all that jazz. I need a redo. NOAH: A redo? GOD: A redo. And I think you’re the man to help me carry that off. NOAH: Hmm. GOD: [ sighs impatiently ] Yes? NOAH: Well, I don’t want to be insubordinate… GOD: Just ask, Noah, the sooner we get your foolish questions out of the way, the better. What do you want to know? NOAH: I was just wondering how you decided on me. GOD: What? NOAH: Well, I know you’re all-powerful, omniscient, etc, etc. But there are a ton of people in the world. How do you know that I’m the right one for the job? GOD: I hardly think that this is relevant. NOAH: I think it is. [ cringes, waits for another lightning bolt. When nothing happens, he straightens up ] You’re God , aren’t you? Shouldn’t you have some reasons for what you do? Some motive to back up your actions? GOD: I have divine privilege. I do not need reason and other such paltry things. NOAH: If you say so. GOD: Anyway. As I was saying. NOAH: GOD: I am going to begin a new world, one without suffering and terror, one that will put the current world to shame. NOAH: GOD: People will rejoice and worship without fear, and all shall live in glorious, everlasting peace.
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  • Fall '09
  • SATYAVOLU
  • Noah, Adam and Eve, Book of Genesis

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