Secrets they intentionally keep hidden often contain

Secrets they intentionally keep hidden; often contain information the
family considers private and inappropriate for sharing with outsiders, such
as details of religious practices, health or legal issues, family conflicts, or
financial information
d.ii. Keeping secrets protects private family information and it reinforces the
family's identity and exclusivity because only family members are allowed
to know the secrets
d.iii. Secrets can also be kept within families: individuals keep secrets from
other family members because they want to avoid embarrassment or
conflict, protect another person's feelings, and maintain a sense of
autonomy and privacy
Creating a Positive Communication Climate (pg. 338)
Communication Climate : the emotional tone of the relationship; Example: feel comfortable
teasing and being teased by romantic partner; reflects how you feel about the relationships you’re
in
Positive communication climate is beneficial for relationships like marriage, families,
friendships, in the workplace, and in education settings
Communication climate is important for the quality of computer-mediated interactions
1) Using Confirming Messages and Minimizing Disconfirming Messages
a. Confirming messages : behaviors that convey value for other people, contribute
to positive communication climates
b. 3 types of Confirming Messages:

b.i. Recognition: act of confirmation, recognize that another person exists and
is worthy of your attention; Example: Replying to a text message from a
sibling
b.i.1. Disconfirmation example: failing to respond to an e-mail
message from a relative you find annoying
b.i.2. Recognition is essential to individuals because our need to
belong is so great
b.ii. Acknowledgement: positive form of confirmation; acknowledge another
person's feelings and thoughts; Example: when you ask someone's opinion
b.ii.1. Using active listening behaviors (paraphrasing, asking
follow-up questions) conveys the message that you are paying
close attention to what the person says
b.ii.2. People feel greater confirmation when they perceive that
others are listening to their ideas, even if they disagree with them,
than when they perceive that others aren't really listening
b.iii. Endorsement: signal that you agree with what another person has said;
most positive form of confirmation; people in positive, stable intimate
relationships seek and take advantage of opportunities to offer
endorsement to each other
c. Disconfirming messages: behaviors that imply a lack of regard for another
person; let them slip out when we're ill, fatigued, or grumpy
d. Types of Disconfirming Messages: (most to least disconfirming)
d.i. Impervious response: ignoring people altogether; sends message that “I
don't care enough about you even to recognize your existence”; can make
people feel neglected and unimportant
d.ii. Verbal abuse: involves using words to hurt people emotionally and
psychologically; calling someone derogatory names, offering insults or
put-downs, making sarcastic remarks about someone's appearance or
intelligence, and threatening physical harm
d.iii.