Just sex = when two people hook up from time to time, but do not really have a true friendship 3. Network opportunism = when two people agree to serve as “backups” for each other in situations where neither of them can find another partner for the evening 4. Successful transition in = when someone intentionally uses a FWB as a stepping- stone into a romantic relationship 5. Unintentional transition in = when FWBs accidentally turn into romantic partners. Most media portrayals of FWBs end with the partners moving into some type of romantic relationship, even though they were initially trying to avoid this 6. Failed transition in = when someone hopes to use a FWB as a stepping-stone to romance but is not successful in doing so 7. Transition out = when romantic partners decide to maintain a sexual relationship after a breakup (sometimes referred to as “ex-sex”) Study with heterosexual 18-65 year olds When asked why they started this relationship: o Most men & women pointed to sex as the primary reason o Men (72%) were significantly more likely than women (56%) to report that sex was their primary motivation o Women (37%) were significantly more likely than men (25%) to say that their primary motivation for starting the relationship was to connect emotionally with another person When asked what they hope the future holds for the FWB relationship: o Most women (69%) expressed a desire that the relationship would change in some way (e.g., becoming romantic partners, reverting to friends, or cutting off their friendship and sexual relationship altogether) o Most men (60%) expressed a desire for their FWB arrangement to stay the same in the future FWB complications arise when o There are different motivations and expectations o There is a lack of communication Most FWB report failure to set rules (may unintentionally hurt feelings) Less likely to talk about STIs, contraception, sexual needs & desires, establishing boundaries Why? Alcohol Fear of creating too much intimacy Fear of complicating things more What can you do? o Try setting an explicit expiration date on the FWB Communication Cultural & gender differences Your way isn’t the “right” way What is needed? Appropriate self-disclosure (sharing personal information with others) o Stories & secrets o Reveals how you are reacting to the present situation o Gives pertinent info about the past that would help someone understand your current reactions o It’s a risk (to disclose and to not disclose)
Get to know yourself o Feelings, thoughts, concerns o Accept yourself o Willingness to discuss sexual history o Choose a safe context o Beware of using social media as an outlet Become a better listener o Enhance relationships o Improve grasp of information o Allow us to interpret more effectively what others say o Listening happens best when We believe the message is relevant to us Speaker holds our attention through humor, dramatic effect, etc. We are in the mood to listen (i.e., free of distractions & worries) o
You've reached the end of your free preview.
Want to read all 22 pages?
- Fall '14
- Human Sexuality, partner, Sexual intercourse, Human sexual behavior