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Relationships that do not start off well will probably fail■Growth●Ideal relationships develop over time●Obstacles can make love even stronger●A relationship succeeds through hard work and resolution of incompatibilities■Mindsets are orthogonal, so it is possible to hold both mindsets●“Fate brings people together, but then it’s up to them”■Mindsets are flexible and can change over time○Empathetic Accuracy■Understanding the thoughts and feelings of one’s partner■Why is this important for a relationship?●Facilitates communication, support, resolving conflict■How would we measure this?●Mood●Perception of partner’s mood■Study: Transition into Parenthood●78 couples having their first baby●Daily diary design during pregnancy, infancy, and toddlerhood●You are less empathetically accurate when a baby is born b you have to re-learn your partner as a new person especially bc they’re changing as a parent also
●Why to study this○Having your first child is a major life transition (global and daily stressors)○Dyadic stress: Both partners face it together●Findings: Empathetic accuracy goes down during infancy○Interdependence Theory■The extent to which the actions of each partner influences the outcomes of the other■Greater interdependence = greater opportunity for conflict●“My interest conflict with your interest”○Relationships and Goal Pursuits■Goal: Something you are trying to achieve■Why might goal pursuit be important in relationships?■SHAAH 2003 experiment●Asked participant for name of mom, name of friend, goal mom has for you, and goal friend has for you●Asked to rate the closeness with mom and with friend●Given filler task●Asked how committed, how many times will you pursue throughout the week○Primed with mom’s name, primed with friend’s name, or primedwith control world■If close and primed, more likely to pursue goals■Regulation●Self-Regulation: The study of psychological and behavioral processes that move people toward desired end states and away from undesired end states○Transactive Goal Dynamics■Relationships are a regulating unit, with the partners as subunits in a single system of goal dynamics, a system inwhich resources are pooled■3 scenarios:●One partner’s goal●Parallel goals○Can be pursued by one or both partners●Shared goals○Same outcome held by both partners■What kind of goal is trickiest for relationships?●Health/fitness■Is goal support always helpful?●No○Weight loss study■Wives are more likely to be successful when their husbands are told to be uninvolved
●Being Single○Why?■Demographics●97 men total for every 100 women○Automatically decreases marriage rate (only 97% women can get married at all)○Not as a large as a gender difference as we would see in China (more boys than girls) or in a post war period (loss of many men)■Think about how marriage rates must look in these instances■Economics●