This display of military force the mayor of this city

This display of military force the mayor of this city officially
declared to be necessary,” so wrote our Harvard University
friend, old Josiah Quincy. He also added, that summer in ’54,
“Slaveholders have multiplied their black cattle by the
million; and are every day increasing their numbers, and
extending their cattle field into the wilderness...”
I respond to those impressive words with mine, since the
slave issue dies hard.
The ant who has toiled and dragged a crumb to his nest
will furiously defend the fruit of his labor against whatever
robber assails him. So plain that the most dumb and stupid
slave that ever toiled for a master does constantly know that
he is wronged. So plain that no one, high or low, ever does
mistake it, except in a plainly selfish way; for although
volume after volume is written to prove slavery a very good
thing, we never hear of the man who wishes to take the good
of it by being a slave himself.
Certainly, though a man may escape death and injury in
the front lines, changes brought about by the war may
alienate him at home, after he leaves the army, if he still has
a home. The black who has fought for the North may find his
Southern neighbors have become enemies. The black who
has found a measure of recognition while serving will find a
lack of recognition after the war.
We have made little or no provision for the wounded. Our
hospitals are inadequate. Southerners will return to their
farms with little more than the horse that saw combat.
Custom dictates that he reject the negro.
As a nation, we are in a maelstrom of change. It is my
hope that the church may help democratize. As I study the
Washington archive I learn essential facts, but these facts are
not disseminated. How are we to coordinate these state
laws? Missouri hardly comprehends the laws of
Massachusetts.
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OURNAL
Justice—many strive for justice. Efforts must be doubled. I
hope it may be said that I was just.
There are nights when I can not sleep. I get up and pace
the floor of my bedroom or go into my office.
Many continue to threaten my life; so I do not walk the
streets of Washington. If I were home again I could walk
freely. In Springfield, it is pleasant to imagine, I would shake
off the war trauma. I think old skies would reassure me. But
days in Springfield will not return. I have lost more than half
my life here—but it was not the ax that cut me down. What
was it, in all truth? Craving for glory? For power? I accept
those weaknesses but above them is my desire to help my
country, to balance the welfare of our people.
The White House
—cold, rainy—
Very often my commanding officers prove to be inadequate
and I have to substitute one for another. Most officers, I find,
shun advice or suggestions. Grant and Sherman are the best
listeners. Ours is a mutual respect. Grant has the essential
military skill to control the entire armed force. He also has
ample courage for his job (it takes courage to fling men into
battle; I also send men to death).