Realized that he competed unsuccessfully for his mothers attention with his brother.He quit the swim team because his brother was the star and he could never compete.Emotional AbuseWhen Beth is asked to pose with her son, she glibly changes the subject to avoid having to SAY she doesn’t want her picture taken with him, but her disgust is obvious.Conrad, who is sensitive, picks up on his mother’s hatred but tries to smile anyway. Beth, still smiling her fake smile, demands that Calvin give her the camera so she doesn’t have to have her picture taken with Conrad, but Calvin keeps insisting.Conrad, fed up and hurt, loses his temper and screams “Give her the goddamn camera!”“I think this can be saved, it’s a nice clean break”55:15Conrad’s RecoveryBeth always puts her own needs ahead of her son and husband, and berates Calvin for attempting to understand his son’s pain. However, on the surface, no one would call her abusive, because of the mask of normality she always wears. Conrad calls out his mother for never having visited him in the hospital, adding that “You would have visited Buck if he was in the hospital,” to which Beth retorts, “Buck never would have been in the hospital!”This is a clear implication of the higher esteem she held her older son in, who she believed would never have “gone crazy” and had to be hospitalized. 1:05:00Psychotherapy1:09:00Don’t take refuge in your one-linersHe talks about the shit he pulled for excusing his mother’s behavior“If you think I would forgive….she’s going to forgive” Who is it who can’t forgive…Consciously he is worried that she blamed him, but it is really he that cannot forgive her.Allowed him to uncover conflicts about which he was not aware.Most clients will not have this sense of awareness and it is up to the therapist to lead them in that direction.Don’t blame her for not loving you more than she is able-focuses on the mother’s problem so Conrad can figure out his feelings toward her. He can work out missing, wanting, fearing his mother’s love.The therapist mentions proportion-this is how the therapist remains neutral.Conrad’s Id is in overdrive due to adolescence and his Superego is stimulated by guilt for the accident-his ego is now wrought with anxiety. He needs to learn to forgive himself-but he doesn’t know what for. The therapist makes him think about it.The therapist says “That is a hell of a secret you have been keeping on yourself”-this refers to Conrad keeping the conflict unconscious which can lead to anxiety-tiredness and distraction.
“Well a real problem, and a real problem has a solution” –only after the problem has been made conscious can Conrad begin to resolve his conflict.The therapist says “recognize her limitations” –know that she has problems that he is not responsible for.At the end of that session, the therapist says, “there is someone besides your mother that you have to forgive”.Conrad demands, “What do I do” and the therapist indicates they are out of time.