He has become a big proponent of unsealing all

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all sides of adoption and is beginning to understand the process much better. He has become a big proponent of unsealing all adoption records and does many things to get the word out there and gather support. Once he learned about open adoptions, he decided he liked those much better. He attended an adoption conference where he met many others who feel the same as he does. His main source of distress is whether he should continue with his search or if he should let it go and be happy with what he has. Similarities There are many things that these three men have in common in their views on adoption. For instance, all of them agree that there is pain on all sides of adoption. Adoption never has been and never will be a painless process. On both the parents' sides there is loss and there is even loss on the side of the adoptee. I Am, Todd and Kevin all acknowledge the pain on their side and what the other might be feeling. On the side of the birth parents, there is the basic loss of their child. They cannot parent that child and so they much give it to some else and there is a lot of pain there. It is natural to feel that any child that you create is inherently yours. So giving up that right causes a lot of anxiety and chaos in emotions and thoughts. There is also loss on the side of the adoptive parents. There is possibly the loss of a child there, if the couple cannot have biological children and there has been a miscarriage. There is also a loss of possibility. Both the men and the women have to let go of the idea that they will raise biological children of their own and that is a difficult thought to swallow. Letting go of that hope is difficult. The loss on the side of the adoptee is not as tangible, but it is there. It is a loss of someone that they never really knew. It is the loss of some phantom parent that is still there psychologically but not there physically. It is also the loss of a history. They will never know their genetic roots or be able to trace back that part of their family. This of course, goes more for those in closed adoptions. People in open adoptions should have access to all this information and have the ability to have their birthparents
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The Hidden Voices 7 in their lives. Each of the three men has encountered each of these kinds of pain in some way. The birthfather not only knows his pain, but has spoken to the adoptive parents of his son and many other people involved with adoption. The adoptive father has had to deal with giving up his dream of biological children, but he also sees how the birth parents of his children react to watching some one else raise them. And the adoptee knows the tragedy of his closed adoption, but has heard the stories of birth parents and his adoptive parents and understands their pain as well. They all acknowledge that adoption is difficult on all ends and it is not something to be taken lightly.
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