Turn in the exam approximately 30 minutes into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was. Do the entire exam as if it was multiple choice and true/false. If it is a multiple choice exam, spell out interesting things (DCCAB. BABE. etc. . ). Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.
Get the exam. Twenty minutes into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out "Forget this!" and walk out triumphantly. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (i. e. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all leaving after one hour to go drink) Show up completely drunk. (Completely drunk means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy). Every now and then, clap twice
rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!" Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 minutes, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away. Go to an exam for a class you have no clue about, where you know the class is
very small, and the instructor would recognize you if you belonged. Claim that you have been to every lecture. Fight for your right to take the exam. Upon receiving the exam, look it over, while laughing loudly, say "you don't really expect me to waste my time on this drivel? Days of our Lives is on!!!" Bring a water pistol with you. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin
whistling the theme to the Bridge on the River Kwai. Start a brawl in the middle of the exam. If the exam is math/science related, make up the longest proofs you could possibly think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story. Come in wearing a full knight's outfit, complete with sword and shield. Bring a friend to give you a back massage the entire way through the
exam. Insist this person is needed, because you have bad circulation. Bring cheat sheets for another class (make sure this is obvious. . . like history notes for a calculus exam. . . otherwise you're not just failing, you're getting kicked out too) and staple them to the exam, with the comment "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit. " When you walk in, complain about the heat. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question,
ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her. One word: Wrestlemania. Bring balloons, blow them up, start throwing them around like they do before concerts start.