Omitted the unneeded words and phrases in paragraph 1

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Omitted the unneeded words and phrases in paragraph 1. Removed a phrase in the second sentence to fix the overstatement. Grammar & Mechanics: Combined the words that needed to be compound words and capitalize the proper now of History Channel in the second paragraph on page 2.
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Next Steps : Proof read and double check to make sure this one is the best I can make it, revise other papers and do self- analysis. Essay: The Cause Effect Date: 12.3.2011 Revision Steps Taken on This Date Audience & Purpose: Took out some phrases that were unneeded since it stated the obvious or restated something already mentioned earlier. Development: Changed topic sentence in paragraph four Focus & Organization: For all the NBT, added a transition sentence or revised the one already there either between the two paragraphs (between paragraph 2 and 3) or between ideas (end of paragraph one) Diction: Added more details to the parts labeled BMS. Described an attractive person in paragraph one instead of just saying “the attractive person.” Changed pronouns to proper or more specific nouns to make it less confusing on the subject. Rephrased all phrases and sentences labeled RFC to help the reader understand. Syntax: Omitted a couple of phrases labeled ONM. Grammar & Mechanics: Went through and fixed all the comma and spelling issues Professor Olson pointed out. Next Steps : Edit the last paper, finish all corrections on the narrative and type paper. Essay: The Process Explanation Date: 12.4.2011 Revision Steps Taken on This Date Audience & Purpose: Added details to the conclusion. Split paragraph 4 into two paragraphs. Development: Added more details to further develop the conclusion. Focus & Organization: Split paragraph 4 into two paragraphs and added a better transition. Diction: Added more details to the last paragraph to help point get across. Syntax: Omitted all the unneeded words to delete fluff.
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Grammar & Mechanics: Fixed all the comma issues Mrs. Olson pointed out. Fixed the misplaced modifiers in paragraph 1. Next Steps : Do self-analysis and proof read narrative again.
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