You might use refusal statements similar to those in

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become more assertive. You might use refusal statements similar to those in Figure 12.3. Make sure your body language supports your verbal message. Don’t be afraid of hurting the other person’s feel- ings. It’s possible to say no and still remain friends. S AYING N O TO S EXUAL A CTIVITY If someone uses pressure lines to persuade you to break your commitment to abstinence, use refusal statements to communicate your stance firmly. Pressure Line If you love me, you will. Everyone’s doing it. Don’t be such a baby. My feelings won’t change. I’ll still respect you. Refusal Statement If you care about me, you won’t pressure me. No, everyone’s not. I’m sticking to my values. It’s the mature, responsible decision to wait. Maybe, but I won’t respect myself. health.glencoe.com HS_HEALTH_U04_C12_L4 12/6/03 9:38 AM Page 323
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H E A L T H C U L T U R E & C O M M U N I T Y So do their nightly marathon phone conversa- tions, in which no topic is off-limits. Darren finds he can really open up to Michelle about girls, school, and parents. “It’s okay to express yourself to a girl, whereas a guy might think you sound corny,” says Darren. “When I talk to Michelle, time passes really quickly.” As for Michelle, she finds it easier to confide in Darren than in some of her girlfriends. Summing up their friendship, Michelle says, “What we have right now is the best it’s ever been.” Jamie and David: Friends for five years For David, 16, and Jamie, 16, friendship means having the best of both worlds—and the inside scoop on what the other gender thinks. “Since I’m a guy,” says David, “I’ll give her my honest opinion of what other guys will think.” In turn, Jamie does her best to clear up the confusion in the way he communicates with girls. “Jamie helped me write a poem for a girl I liked,” says David. “She tells me where to take a date and how to treat her.” Of course, the now-solid friendship has had its shaky moments. “I think she wanted to date me at first,” says David, “but I didn’t think it would work out.” In retrospect, Jamie is glad that they stayed just friends. “It wouldn’t have been worth risking our friendship,” she says. Michelle and Darren: Friends for six years Michelle, 16, and Darren, 17, started out as “sweethearts.” “We had a little puppy love going on in third grade,” says Michelle. However, by the time the pair hit junior high, romance had given way to friendship. It’s been that way ever since. “Romantic relationships usually end,” Michelle says, “but friendships go on forever.” Just Friends Just Friends Meet two sets of pals who prove that being platonic is a plus. About Platonic Relationships The teens in the article mention ways their friends help them. Brainstorm ways friends are important to you. Then with your classmates create a list of the values of friendships. Are any of those values unique to boy/girl friendships?
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