WR150 Portfolio

Youve done very good job of summarizing your argument

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For the most part, I think this is a really good start, a very interesting beginning. You’ve done very good job of summarizing your argument sources in a way that is probably essential to your argument. I say “probably” only because I don’t know what your argument is: your intro is unclear on that point (see Comment 10), and the body of your essay is all reporting of facts and summarizing of other people’s arguments—which seems like a fine way to begin, but leaves me with no sense of what your claims will be. Do you know what your thesis is? If you do I suggest that you run a revised intro and maybe an outline of the rest of the body past me. One other general pieces of advice I have concerns your topic and your argument sources. They require you to be more consistently precise about terminology (author, implied author, anatomy, novel, etc.) and background facts (publication dates, the specific changes H made on those dates, etc.). You’ve done a good job so far, particularly when one considers how challenging the Brogan piece is. But you need to get a firmer handle on some terms and your facts need to be more accurate. Maybe you and I should discuss terminology. I’ve made some small-scale comments, too, mostly concerning prose style (clarity in particular) and quotation integration mechanics. I few meet, let’s discuss those topics, too. All around, this paper looks really interesting, but I find its ultimate direction unclear and wonder how definite and detailed your plan is. Sincerely, Jason
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40 Artifact 4 – Notes from a Conference with Jason Conference with Jason for Paper 2 CONCLUSIONS Brief restatement of thesis o Broaden perspective to address entire argument Consequence of thesis o What’s a larger topic that is related to mine? If my thesis is true, does it change my understanding of any of these topics? Conceptual consequences If my thesis is true, should I/we do anything about any of those topics? Practical consequence o Answer: More research RUN-ON SENTENCES Two or more independent clauses incorrectly put together Three solutions: o Coordinating conjunctions For, and, nor, but, or, yet, so However CANNOT be used o Create a dependent clause o Introduce a full stop (semi-colon, period) CLARITY Use concrete subjects/verbs Try to avoid “to be” verbs (is, are, etc.) COHESION Say that same thing in fewer words
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41 Jung Paper 2 Final Draft Linda Jung WR150 A1 March 29, 2013 A Hemingway Debate: The Effect of Structure on an Author’s Message Often times, the structure of a novel holds great significance to its story. Whether it is written in chapters, short stories, or poems, the author intentionally structures the story in order to help tell it. Ernest Hemingway is a prime example of this. Each of his stories can be read individually because they have a proper beginning, middle and end.
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