WR150 Portfolio

.will not think past the most simple of

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Unformatted text preview: ..will not think past the most simple of sentences” (Brogan 39). Most of the sentences describing Nick’s inner thoughts are short sentences, “He has not been unhappy all day. This was different though. Now things were done” (Hemingway 38 139). This is contrasted against Hemingway’s writing, which is filled with “style, flourishing his ability to write imaginatively, with depth” (Brogan 39). In Hemingway’s description of Nick’s routine when he is at camp, he uses a lot of descriptive words and his sentences are much longer. This is more practical evidence of how Nick cannot be the writer of the stories because there are two different styles of writing present. Aside from this cubist structure, Brogan suggests that the way Hemingway put his novel together shows the realities of “our time” and how we see our world. She states, “ In Our Time presents us with a violent world, full of emotional and physical abuses…on a global scale that seem disturbingly altogether too much part of our actual time” (Brogan 44). She thinks that Hemingway’s message goes far beyond the characters and is more applicable and appealing to the way the world actually is. 39 Jung Hi Linda, For the most part, I think this is a really good start, a very interesting beginning. You’ve done very good job of summarizing your argument sources in a way that is probably essential to your argument. I say “probably” only because I don’t know what your argument is: your intro is unclear on that point (see Comment 10), and the body of your essay is all reporting of facts and summarizing of other people’s arguments—which seems like a fine way to begin, but leaves me with no sense of what your claims will be. Do you know what your thesis is? If you do I suggest that you run a revised intro and maybe an outline of the rest of the body past me. One other general pieces of advice I have concerns your topic and your argument sources. They require you to be more consistently precise about terminology (author, implied author, anatomy, novel, etc.) and background facts (publication dates, the specific changes H made on those dates, etc.). You’ve done a good job so far, particularly when one considers how challenging the Brogan piece is. But you need to get a firmer handle on some terms and your facts need to be more accurate. Maybe you and I should discuss terminology. I’ve made some small-scale comments, too, mostly concerning prose style (clarity in particular) and quotation integration mechanics. I few meet, let’s discuss those topics, too. All around, this paper looks really interesting, but I find its ultimate direction unclear and wonder how definite and detailed your plan is. Sincerely, Jason 40 Artifact 4 – Notes from a Conference with Jason Conference with Jason for Paper 2 CONCLUSIONS • Brief restatement of thesis o Broaden perspective to address entire argument • Consequence of thesis o What’s a larger topic that is related to mine?...
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.will not think past the most simple of sentences”(Brogan...

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