6 this shows a prime example of how mistakes have led

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6 “This shows a prime example of how mistakes have led to the catastrophic setbacks in the human race.” Completes the transition that began in the last sentence. Works as a concluding sentence to the main idea of the paragraph. Simple Rounds off the idea of the paragraph in a short, sweet sentence. C. Revision
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a. Use your inventory chart to reflect on the following questions: Do your sentences begin with different words and varied structures? Unlike Malala, my sentences use a rudimentary variation of structures and stick to a basic variation. Do your sentences have any unique features used to achieve particular effects? The first sentence uses a break that helps to continue the readers interest in the claim of the passage. The second sentence is a short, simple sentence that introduces the new idea and links it to the claim. Do you have a variety of sentence types and lengths? I use a somewhat varied use of sentence lengths and types. Do you have any shifts in structure used to achieve a particular effect? I use one example at the end of the paragraph where I switch from a complex structure used in the past two expository sentences to an expository sentence that uses a simple structure and sets up the structure for the concluding sentence. Any question that you answered with a “no” should help you decide which areas may need revision. b. Revise your paragraph to achieve purposeful and varied syntax. If your current paragraph is exquisitely crafted, you can always make improvements and achieve a higher level of sophistication. Consider purposefully altering your sentence beginnings, adding unique features, combining or breaking up sentences to create different types, or creating a shift with a change in sentence length. Include your revision with at least four syntactical revisions highlighted. While mistakes may have helped in few cases, the majority almost always lead to a minor, if not major, setback, such as loss of life and land. Another prime example of this is the Chernobyl incident. After the core of the nuclear reactor began to meltdown, operators at the plant made crucial mistakes that lead to the contamination of the surrounding area. Not only this but the Soviets continued their mistakes, withholding the meltdown from the public that lead to the problem escalating. T he mistake left a 30- kilometer area unsuitable to live in. This lead to the unnecessary deaths of multiple people, and displaced many. This shows a prime example of how mistakes have led to the catastrophic setbacks in the human race. Print
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  • Fall '19
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