Romeo and Juliet effect When we are told we cant have something we often want

Romeo and juliet effect when we are told we cant have

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Romeo and Juliet effect: When we are told we can’t have something, we often want more. The Closing Time effect: Patrons in a bar are rated higher in attractiveness after last call. ° ° Gender differences in love Women tend to be more: o Relationship-focused o Think about it more often o Tend to their relationships o Emotionally expressive o In touch with their feelings Men appear to be the more romantic sex. o Subscribe to more romantic beliefs o Report falling in love more quickly o Men are both quicker to fall in love and profess their love. o “Love at first sight” o Say “I love you” more quickly Know the components and outcomes of the Triangular Theory of Love See spiral for complete diagram
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3 components: Intimacy (liking), Passion (infatuation), Commitment (empty love) o Romantic love: Passion + Intimacy o Companionate love: Intimacy + Commitment o Fatuous love: Commitment + Passion o Consummate love: All 3 o Non-love: None of the above components Arranged marriages can actually report more love down the line than love marriages. ° ° Passionate love Cognitive, affective, and behavioral components o Characterized by physiological arousal, and belief that the partner is the cause of that arousal. o Cognitive characteristics Intense, focused attention Obsessive thinking o Affective (emotional) characteristics Euphoria- Feeling of intense happiness Emotional dependency Increased energy o Behavioral characteristics Seeking proximity Sexual bidding How does it change over time?
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We start to feel less passionate about the same person over time. o How can we “keep the fire going”? Maintaining passion requires effort. Novelty matters Ex: Experiment involving couples engaging in an obstacle course v. those engaging in a more “boring” gymnasium activity. Couples who engage in “new” activities together, as opposed to many repetitive activities, report more love for each other over time. Could be a cyclical system in that, couples who are in love tend to seek out novelty. Some couples are able to maintain feelings of passionate love for decades. o Love over time Passionate love tends to decrease over time. Companionate love increases over time because it relies on intimacy processes. (At least initially) Both decline over the course of marriage Does not decline with age Physiological effects of passion – Passionate love is a “drug”? o Ventral tegmental area (VTA) lights up in brain scans when one sees an item of passionate love (i.e. money, chocolate, cocaine, etc.) Ex: Showing Edward Cullen a picture of Bella v. Rihanna. Suggests that passionate love may have evolved to promote partner choice, which helps conserve time/energy associated with courtship. Passionate love causes relationships to progress more quickly than those that start off as friends. o Hormones and Passionate Love Nerve growth factor (NGF)- Chemical compound in the body Regulates synaptic plasticity and neural survival Elevated when people are passionately in love Cortisol “Stress hormone”
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