Subjective seems Objective - Leads to potential for disagreement and overconfidence Overconfidence - Study in which heterosexual dating couples had to fill out a questionnaire - Partner A had to answer questions over Partner B’s sexual history - Partner B had to guess what Partner A would answer regarding their sexual history - Length of relationships led to more confidence in answering accurately, but did not influence the accuracy - Our perceptions make us overconfident in that we think other people view the world the same way we do Destiny/Soul Mate Theorists - Chitney’s Study found that people thought that: o Potential partners are either right or wrong o A successful relationship is mostly a matter of finding the right partner o Relationships that do not start off well will probably fail - Ex: Westley and Buttercup from The Princess Bride Growth/Work it out Theorists - The ideal relationship develops over time - Obstacles can make love even stronger - A relationship succeeds through hard work and resolution of incompatibilities - Ex: Marge and Homer Simpson Implicit theories: Destiny vs. Growth influences: - Dating behavior - Affective reactions to discrepant views - Coping strategies - Relation of initial satisfaction to longevity Expectations: Self-fulfilling prophecies - Study in which Male participants spoke on the phone with females on the phone
Then, the conversation was studied - If men were talking to a woman they thought were attractive, they were friendlier, flirtier, had happier tone of voice, showed more interest, and were more engaged o Women reciprocated this behavior, and the woman’s behavior confirmed to the men that they were attractive - Men talking to an “unattractive” woman were opposite, and thus women reciprocated that behavior and confirmed they were unattractive - Unbiased observers of the conversation perceived the women as more attractive depending on how the conversation went Expectations: Rejection sensitivity - Anxious expectation in that you’re ready to receive rejection, then you over react to the rejection - Individual differences in RS (rejection sensitivity) o Some people are HRS (high in rejection sensitivity) Other people are LRS (low in rejection sensitivity - Males randomly shown attractive or unattractive photo, then spoke with females Thursday, Feb 23 2012 Goals and Motivation in Relationships · Self regulation: o The ways people control and direct their actions, how we work towards goals o We can use our relationships to accomplish our goals but our relationships may also hinder our goal pursuit Self regulation and relationships. (How sociability can affect your thinking) · People who were primed with sociability more readily thought about their instrumental friends, listed them earlier and more frequently (Instrumental friends are friends that will help you with your goals.) · ones that were not primed with sociability did not recall their friends that were instrumental any more than the ones who are non instrumental Self regulation and relationships (Study) ·
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