College 1978 and 1982.■Recruited research assistants to ask people awkward questions (“I havebeen noticing you around campus. I find you to be very attractive,” “Wouldyou go out with me tonight?” “Would you come over to my apartmenttonight?” and “Would you go to bed with me tonight?”
●Asked one of the three questions, not all.○Male RA’s: Date- 56%, Apartment- 6%, Bed- 0%○Female RA’s: Date- 50%, Apartment- 69%, Bed- 69%●Are Genders Really That Different?○Conley, 2012■Why women are more weary to have casual sex?●Fear of being judged●Doubt that casual sex will be pleasurable.●Not about lack of interest, it’s about difference in experience●Reciprocity:○Flipped side of rejection, idea of mutual liking (we like people who like us).○Reason: We’re less afraid of them rejecting us, we think they have good taste.○Study(Curtis and Miller, 1986)■120 students, randomly assigned 60 pairs who have 5 minute conversations.■Student A’s beliefs are manipulated. They take surveys and then experimenter discusses fake survey from person B.●False information about whether B likes them or not.○B is not told anything about A’s beliefs.■Afterwards, they have another 10 minute conversation and measure likingfor each other a second time.●If A was told that B liked them, they would like B.●If A was told that B didn’t like them, they would dislike B.●B likes A more when A is told B likes them (reason: they are more friendly and outgoing)●Misattribution of Arousal:○Dutton and Aron, 1974: The Shaky Bridge Study■Conclusion: Strong emotions relabeled as attraction if an acceptable object is present.●Men who walked across stable bridge typically did not call researcher.●Men who walked across shaky bridge more likely to call researcher.○Physiological arousal:Includes physical sensations including increased heart rate, higher body temperature, sweaty palms, etc.■We are more likely to misattribute our arousal to attraction after doing something exciting, scary, etc.●This is why first dates are usually recommended to be at scary movies, roller coaster rides, eating spicy food, and other things that cause excitement.○Reason: You attribute excitement to that person.■Couples who do more exciting things with their partners report more marital satisfaction than couples who do not.●When you experience “rush” with another person, it enhances the experience.○Problems with dating apps:■People will only pay attention to the pictures, not the description.●When we are given the opportunity to choose based on looks, we do so.
Love and Commitment●Triangulating Theory of Love (Sternberg, 1986):○Many types of love that exist in couples. Defined by three ideas:■Passion:Infatuation, in love with someone, think about them all the time.■Intimacy:Liking, interested in them, you know things about them.■Commitment: Empty love, couple married for many years with no more passion and attraction, staying together for family or other reasons.
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- Spring '08