d ask questions designed to help the speaker tell his story e acknowledge the

D ask questions designed to help the speaker tell his

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(d) ask questions designed to help the speaker tell his story (e) acknowledge the speaker’s situation, its meaning, and his feelings by summarizing and paraphrasing etc.
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Listening skills (cont.) Listen does not mean agree Listen for information and understanding, and look for concerns and interests Listen to diffuse anger and strong emotions by acknowledging and validating feelings Listen to facilitate agreement by helping people in conflict move from blaming and fighting to problem-solving and solution focused.
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Understanding Relationship Issues Separate the people from the problem = separate the relationship issue from the substantive issues. Based relationship on accurate perceptions, clear communication, appropriate emotions and to deal with people problems directly (and not to try to solve them with substantive concessions or demands)
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Clouding Acknowledge Agree in Principle Ask clarifying questions Deflect attack by ignoring, reframe as attack on problem reframe as friendly comment, reframe from past wrongs to future remedies, reframe from ‘you’ & ‘me’ to ‘we’.
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example Why do I have to remove the structure on my roof while the other owners do not need to do so? We acknowledge your frustration and inconvenience in this matter. We shall give you full attention to learn about your case. We appreciate and respect your coming to us to try to resolve this matter. Perhaps we shall have a list of the facts and see how we can help in the process of reviewing your case.
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