When communicating on behalf of an organisation it is

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When communicating on behalf of an organisation, it is always tempting to write as if you are the organisation, and not a person. All of us enjoy receiving personal attention, so it makes sense to write to people in a tone that makes them feel this way. You can do this by adopting a You Approach to writing. This simply means focusing on the reader, not on the writer. This makes your readers feel that you are writing directly to them suggests that you are empathetic (= you understand other people’s feelings) and approachable (= friendly and easy to talk to) 31 © CPBE 2019
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The You Approach is the modern formal business convention for addressing audiences. Remember that it influences how you plan your message and approach your topic. The You Approach involves being polite and cooperative. It puts more emphasis on the personal pronouns I, you and we active verb forms positive wording. …than the old-fashioned, impersonal style. It focuses on reader benefit. Look again at emails on page 27. Which one(s) use a personal tone ? Here is another example: Impersonal tone: It is important that all forms reach this office by next Friday. Better tone: It is important that we receive your form by next Friday. Personal tone: Please make sure that we receive your form by next Friday. Personal tone: Please make sure that your form reaches us by next Friday. Now find suitable ways to rewrite the following using a more personal tone: a. The cooperation of all employees is necessary for this project. We …………………………………………………………………………………… b. All employees are reminded to send in their petty cash forms before the end of the month. We ……………………………………………………………………………………… c. Please be informed that your comments have been received and are being investigated further. We ……………………………………………………………………………………… d. Your reply by email to me before 31 March would be appreciated. I ……………………………………………………………………………………… 32 © CPBE 2019
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2.2 Choose positive language Read the two different versions of the same email – which one do you prefer and why? Version 1 We regret to inform you that the new red “Protect” iPad case that you require is not in stock. We are selling more of these items than expected and our suppliers are unable to meet the demand. We are hoping to receive more of the cases in the near future and will contact you when they arrive. We apologize again for any inconvenience this has caused. Version 2 Thank you for ordering our new “Protect” iPad case (in red). We have received a high number of orders for the cases and we expect to receive new stock within the next few days. You can be sure that we will ship one to you as soon as they arrive. Meanwhile, if we can help you in any other way, please contact us quoting the reference number above.
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