Children house money etc although powerful and


Children, house, money, etc.

Although powerful and important, not all investments are
tangible.

Joint social networks

Time, emotions, and memories

Aspect that clearly differs from the Interdependence Model

Investment and its consequences

Need high satisfaction, low alternatives, and high
investment to enhance commitment.

Throughout the course of a relationship, the respective
levels of satisfaction, alternatives, and investments are
going to fluctuate and keep us in at different points in time.

Stay/leave behavior; More commitment yields more likely to
stay, and vice versa.

Perspective taking- Being more willing to consider issues
from the perspective of your partner.


Accommodation- We engage in behaviors to accommodate
our partner (i.e. staying in when partner is tired, choosing
different restaurants, etc.)

Derogation of alternatives (i.e. meeting someone at a party
and finding flaws in them in order to maintain commitment
to current partner)

Willingness to sacrifice

Illusions/perceived relationship superiority

In reference to global opinions

Fidelity
o
Can apply to various other aspects aside from interpersonal relationship
(i.e. job, graduate programs, dieting, etc.)
°
Stages of breakup: Pathway to dissolution

Recognition of problems
o
Tends to be gradual
o
‘ Intra psychic’; Happens in your own head

Exposure of problems to partner
o
Dyadic process: Put cards on the table
o
Begin pulling out
o “Too busy”, short interactions, etc.

Negotiation
o
Stay or go?
o
How will conflict be resolved?
o
“I’ll be better…”
o
What will it take to make the relationship work?

Transformation
o Focus on self future vs. relationship future
o
Symbolic purging (e.g. song, place, photos, haircut, etc.)
o
Social phase: Seek out others


Grave-dressing
o
Account making: Creating/developing stories of how/why things ended.

Reinterpretation of past events in order to validate why the
relationship ended.

Convince self that we still have market value

Move on…
°
RECAP

Background

Macro: “Big” picture explanations for why breakup/divorce happens

Micro: Interdependence Theory/Commitment

Stages of breakup

Relationship Cognition
11/08/2012
°
Cognitive Accessibility of Commitment

Those who are in longer term relationships are able to answer questions about
their relationship more quickly than those in short-term relationships.

“Relationship thinking”

Three components of social perception
o Characteristics of the stimuli

“Objective” features of the target and behavior; Characteristics of
what we are perceiving.
o
Characteristics of the perceiver

Ex: Refereeing an NFL game, color-blindness, etc.

Cognitive, motivational, emotional

Chronic/stable (e.g. personality)

Ex: Being a relatively “trusting” person

Temporary (e.g. mood states, current goals, etc.)
o
Characteristics of the context/situation

Cues help us interpret ambiguous events.