Children, house, money, etc. Although powerful and important, not all investments are tangible. Joint social networks Time, emotions, and memories Aspect that clearly differs from the Interdependence Model Investment and its consequences Need high satisfaction, low alternatives, and high investment to enhance commitment. Throughout the course of a relationship, the respective levels of satisfaction, alternatives, and investments are going to fluctuate and keep us in at different points in time. Stay/leave behavior; More commitment yields more likely to stay, and vice versa. Perspective taking- Being more willing to consider issues from the perspective of your partner.
Accommodation- We engage in behaviors to accommodate our partner (i.e. staying in when partner is tired, choosing different restaurants, etc.) Derogation of alternatives (i.e. meeting someone at a party and finding flaws in them in order to maintain commitment to current partner) Willingness to sacrifice Illusions/perceived relationship superiority In reference to global opinions Fidelity o Can apply to various other aspects aside from interpersonal relationship (i.e. job, graduate programs, dieting, etc.) ° Stages of breakup: Pathway to dissolution Recognition of problems o Tends to be gradual o ‘ Intra psychic’; Happens in your own head Exposure of problems to partner o Dyadic process: Put cards on the table o Begin pulling out o “Too busy”, short interactions, etc. Negotiation o Stay or go? o How will conflict be resolved? o “I’ll be better…” o What will it take to make the relationship work? Transformation o Focus on self future vs. relationship future o Symbolic purging (e.g. song, place, photos, haircut, etc.) o Social phase: Seek out others
Grave-dressing o Account making: Creating/developing stories of how/why things ended. Reinterpretation of past events in order to validate why the relationship ended. Convince self that we still have market value Move on… ° RECAP Background Macro: “Big” picture explanations for why breakup/divorce happens Micro: Interdependence Theory/Commitment Stages of breakup
Relationship Cognition 11/08/2012 ° Cognitive Accessibility of Commitment Those who are in longer term relationships are able to answer questions about their relationship more quickly than those in short-term relationships. “Relationship thinking” Three components of social perception o Characteristics of the stimuli “Objective” features of the target and behavior; Characteristics of what we are perceiving. o Characteristics of the perceiver Ex: Refereeing an NFL game, color-blindness, etc. Cognitive, motivational, emotional Chronic/stable (e.g. personality) Ex: Being a relatively “trusting” person Temporary (e.g. mood states, current goals, etc.) o Characteristics of the context/situation Cues help us interpret ambiguous events.
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