not a person can be successful in a relationship, they found that these personality traits
can be predictive of a failed relationship
·
Agreeableness, conscientiousness, extroversion,
neuroticism
·
Neurotic people are highly anxious worriers
o
Family of origin
§
Children of divorced parents are more likely to get divorced.
§
Likely to model our parents relationship style. Negative interaction patterns in family
of origin are more likely to result in negative interaction patterns in adulthood.
§
Education level in families is highly correlated, if your parents went to college, you are
more likely to go to college.
Poor education is a risk factor for divorce.
o
Bad Social Skills
§
If you get along well with others, if you are accommodating, if you can put other’s
needs before your own you are more likely to have a successful relationship.
o
Dysfunctional attitudes about marriage
§
Traditional views of marriage may make your marriage more likely to sustain, at the
same time these attitudes can make you much less happy in your marriage. EX: person
doesn’t believe in divorce and will do anything to keep relationship together, but
relationship negatively impacts life.
§
Believing your partner should fulfill all of your needs makes you more likely to
become dissatisfied with the relationship.
§
People who have a rocky courtship continue to have a rocky marriage so those
marriages tend to fail quickly. People who have smooth, un-dramatic courtships stay
happy in their marriages & sustain happiness across time.
o
Stress exacerbates enduring vulnerabilities.
§
People with good communication skills can effectively talk about problems
without
major issues arising.
Later in their relationships when they have major stressors they
are more likely to be able to deal with them than people who cannot communicate to
begin with.
§
People who never deal with stressors that do not have practice dealing with them
have a higher chance of their marriage failing when a major problem arises.
§
Divorce declined during the 08 recession.
One theory for what’s happening there is
that people can’t afford to get divorced in a recession.
One household is cheaper to
maintain, people don’t feel like they can leave because they can’t afford to set up a
household on their own.
When the economics of the household get better they divorce
and move on, just like how when women gain more economic power they are more
likely to leave an unsatisfactory relationship.
§
Vulnerabilities to maintaining relationships
·
Mechanical failure/process loss: previously functional communication breaking
down
·
Sudden death of relationship
·
Relationship doomed to begin with
·
Premarital Cohabitation
Tuesday, Feb 14 2012
Peak break up times:
-
Valentines day, spring break, & 2 weeks before winter holidays.
