Triumph of the boy code morphing into the guy code

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Triumph of the Boy Code morphing into the Guy Code The “train wreck” of Ricky the sexual and gender non-conformist Stigmatization Bullying Ostracism Ridicule The utility of the “Faggot” or “Fag” discourse – to devalue a male as incompetent and unworthy to share in the brotherhood of male entitlements Establishes the entitlement or bids to establish entitlement of user to a secure identity of masculinity Not necessarily about sexual practices or sexual preferences.
Kimmel: Rise of Guyland In past 20 years a new period of prolonged post-adolescence where young men bond among themselves around sports, recreational pursuits, consumption, attempts to build careers and pursuit of recreational sex. In earlier periods, males in their 20s would be establishing themselves in more structured career paths and in stable partnerships. Changes in the occupational structure and womens’ positions -- educations, expectations and demands -- have weakened historical male advantages for younger men and overturned expectations for themselves and how the world is supposed to work. Being a guy – conforming with code of gender normal – the comfort and safety of a peer group Sharp gender differentiation: women as “other,” opposite and subordinate of men Meeting the standards of other males: reference group Assumptions of male entitlement to control and dominate Extreme competition: the strongest prevail – hierarchies are understood Conceal full range of emotion; wary of intimacy, attachment, and dependency as signs of weakness. Low trust in others – expressions of need opens one to ridicule, rejection, or loss of status. Women as peers, colleagues, desired sex partners pose challenges to the fortified male self and must be contained, seen as exceptional or unnatural.
Sources of the Guy Code Rooted in deep and longstanding justifications for male dominance in public life and personal relationships. Learned by boys through interactions with significant others who transmit it as “common sense.” Supported by peer groups and cultural institutions and products as obligatory and normal. Terms of the code are expressed in: Code of entitlement Code of protection Code of silence
Imposing a Gender Standard: Simmons and Pollock The “Popularity” Regime among girls Vying for a first place finish for a second place prize Self generating and self sustaining socialization process Relational aggression, competitive friendships, cliques The Boy Code: Principles of self presentation and self-regulation that sharply distinguish maleness from femaleness. Appear tough, confident, independent, in control Loyalty to male peers, primacy of sports Deny emotions that convey vulnerability and need for attachment Regulatory mechanism is private and public shame: fear of exposure as “not man enough” or girly. Evidence from clinical practice shows that maintaining the boy code is hard work and can cause problems if it IS learned; it can cause problems if it is not learned well. Boys are silent, confused, lonely and sad

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